someone distract me

so distracted already by the recent events (sliding into the deep apathy mode, attracting very dark energy, the next day a lying cop gave me two tickets, the first two in three or four years, and the next day, no more job... pow, life just became so much more challenging because salaries like that one are seriously rare around here and giving so much money away all through this life leaves me looking at living on social security when i can no longer work and i am getting so tired of trying to balance work life and pleasure and i really don't think i deserve to struggle when senior years get here because i've been so generous all through life and did i mention i could really appreciate distraction about now?) that i had to pull myself out of the game in the second inning and did ok at second and i didn't pitch the second game and was pretty sloppy at second not misjudging two balls because i was too tired and distracted by blues to bend properly and life is seriously sad at the moment and the inner well of hope for fairness and kindness is so dry i am probably going to project so little positive expectation that i may spiral deeper and deeper into dark energy that will bring even more negative events and just letting go of the rat race and trusting anyone and moving into a tent in the woods while i can still afford to stock up on bug spray sounds so good to me right now if jackson was not sharing daily life and needed me to share expenses i might just head into woods (or ask a friend if i can put a tent in their backyard and use their shower) and retire rent-free...

there must be some way out of here...

narf!...