call it what you like

it is my process... writing... writing is how i process this the emotional roller coaster we call life... maybe it is rationalization... intellectualization... justification... any defense mechanism you might name to invalidate or simply dispute my conclusions and resolutions... maybe i am wrong and other people are right, especially other people who appear a whole lot more materially successful than i am... and maybe the world is so screwed up by those people that their delusion becomes reality and right and what is real and right is considered wrong... the world was once so accepted as flat people were killed for saying it was not, after all... maybe i am on a different plane of understanding that few people can (or want to) understand... or maybe i am the deluded one... anything is possible,,, the more right i believe i am, the more wrong i can actually be... truth is truth... but even truth can be distorted and misunderstood when it is not viewed in a big enough perspective or when fear gets in the way... religious wars are the best proof of that, but then, that is my perspective and anyone can call it as they see it...

ultimately, i know my way back to my bliss and nothing in this life has yet to prevent me from restoring it or my joy, comfort, and security no matter what (and some of you know there have been almost unbelievable traumatic whats along the way in this life i loosely call mine, which brings that odd chuckle that comes when my joy pokes through my sadness even when i am still in the middle of digesting and processing the sadness)... so whatever we call it, it works for me... and if it is delusion, well, let anyone who is truly not deluded in some way cast the first stone... oh, stop me before i giggle...

narf :)