Saturday, February 28, 2015

sex with strangers

this is not some sort of countdown, really it is not, but rather it is the culmination of a night of youtube browsing linked by the number because i did not pause to type the video title when i was copying and pasting the address so they are numbered thusly seven, six, five, four, three, two, what?... naturally, of course, there is the interrogative as there is nothing expected at the end of what appears to be some sort of count down and the randomness of the videos and the order further lead to the conclusion that there is no reason or rhyme known to the moment but in the grand scheme of things, anything is possible... god knows, even sex with strangers...

maybe i meant this, i mean, girls just wanna have fun (playlists, no less... alas, live small venue sound quality leaves much to be desired but that's beside the point, whatever the point might have been), ya know?... or environmental politics... meanwhile, you may have been drawn here under false pretenses and somehow, this may seem anti-climactive, but was it good for you?...

narf :)

Friday, February 27, 2015

understanding

if you've been following along the trains of thought in this and all the other blogs (and comments i leave elsewhere, for that matter) and you are not sorry you've come along for the ride, you are hopefully understanding the meaning of the words and maybe even feeling the depths of the desires and even if you don't share a few words of your own (or comforting hugs, even) to let me know... perhaps you can empathize and if you share the same experience in your life, i feel you even if you don't want me to because i feel me and am not afraid to open myself to everything even when it is not the best feeling and the emptiness of unfulfilled desire is seldom the best feeling...

take care and share as you wish...

Thursday, February 26, 2015

garbage time

the entries, that is... i mean, there is a lot of garbage entries slipping in the cracks lately... maybe one out of ten worth reading... unless, of course, you love me... if you love me there is time enough for love, ya know?... that's a book title, by the way... time enough for love... used to be one of my favorites... heinlein, in case you didn't know and wanted to... visionary stuff in more than a few ways, but let's not get too carried away, m'ok?... it's a philosophy, honesty, free love, understanding way beyond the current human mind... and then, of course, i lament that nobody i know understands what i mean and i'm so lonesome i could cry and die and believe i can fly, alone, naturally...

we coulda been contenders, ya know?... right...

narf :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

jacksons

we're reaching that point where we're losing momentum when business steals all the creative time and as the visual world fills such a small spectrum of the continuum of all space and time and all i want is to find more time to rhyme... so i went to see jackson browne tonight after work after running home to take care of happiness and then meeting jackson downtown but we were both too late to get food before the show and both too tired to stop for food after the show so we both go to bed hungry (or at least jackson does) there's no predicting what i might do, after all, though the sensible voice is suggesting this is a perfect opportunity to drop another couple of pounds and the bottom line child is still listening to jackson's words about the state of the world and so on which so strongly suggests not eating tonight is the right move on the most serious levels (if i only had a brain... or a joint, but that's a horse of a different flavor} so here i sit letting some of what is in the head out and speaking of heading out it is about time to head out of this parenthetic aside, aye? (what's that?... or something like)...

what were we saying?...

narf :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

sometimes i get lost in my head

so there i was minding my own business when the internet came up and slapped me upside the head (that was a couple of nights ago when the truth pounded down a little life) and i wandered around in random pattterns at the will of the muses and clicks (... naturally it was something in the way she moves me could possibly attract me like no other lover, but then, we do make loving fun (stop, in the name of love and laughter) even if we never let our momma know (you're momma should know, though, oh, you're momma should know)... we can go where only music can take you... where tommy went (can you hear me?)... deeper than the music of the night... yeah, goosebumps aside, so after i shut down the facebook account for now because it panders way too much for attention and suddenly i replaced it with twitter, at least the past couple of days... and here we are... her too... and her too, with music... what?... and them too...

yeah, so that same old story bites us on the butt when we least expect it right?...

narf :)

Monday, February 23, 2015

and twitter

and then as laina (and her dog point out, lady gaga nails the sound of music... and even god agrees...

and having twitter open i remember why i love bill maher... real humor is a large part of my humor... though i don't really understand the tweeting phenomenon, or at least a lot of questions come to mind... like, are these people who tweet a hundred tweets a night in real time about the oscars or any event, are they sitting home alone watching tv or are they in a real-life group of people who are enjoying their tweets, or comments, in the actual physical world... does tweeting substitute for actual sharing in real life?... is tweeting real life?... do they get callouses on their fingers?... anyway, twitter helps me remember there are minds i'd like to know...

Sunday, February 22, 2015

oscars

i have not watched the oscars in quite some time and found it while skimming through the channels tonight as jackson was heading to bed and while i love film and the audiovisual telling of stories, my patience for the extremely long show wanes after the second or third presenter and it is challenging to return after the first commercial... sometimes i just want to see the list... this is especially true lately as i seldom go to the movies simply because i don't have the time... i miss it.. when i had a movie-loving partner for more than ten years i went to a few movies a week... i suppose i save a lot of money, but still, i miss the experience... anyway, i am leaving the oscars on in the background and just looked up to see the memorial bit... the memorial part of the oscars is always a surprise because i don't read the obituaries or watch the news so it is the first time i am hearing about a lot of these people dying in the past year... and for the living, thanks patricia...

Saturday, February 21, 2015

fools don't fail me now

yeah, you, my favorite fools, you, my dear readers, my loyal devoted fans, my quiet friends, you are the ones who inspire me to dance (babble) and continue, you are the wind beneath my wings (blog entries), yeah, metaphors aside, you are vital to my continued existence (especially online), so visit, click on the links, check out what you may have missed (and other stuff too) if you have not been here recently (or forever, even)... actually, if you want to know which of the many dozens of blogs were updated in the past couple of months (or older and or perhaps even deeper or others, even) then you can find out by clicking on any one of these linked words...

yeah yeah yeah... yeah :)

always something new

i forget how much i enjoy some of the people i have met and/or simply enjoyed on the internet, how much she warms my heart (and the words and thoughts and music she creates or just shares because she is so into the words) or how much she amuses me (or how some tweets are just so true lol)... and then i spent a couple of hours 9gagging... and then a bit of sexual banter from laci... and then there are all those react videos which lead to mindless entertainment like this guy and his posse (or the posse they run with since it's like annonymous, a leaderless gang), not to judge cuz as laci says, different strokes and one man's humor may not be others (college humor, for example, is big, but then, george carlin might be more your cup of tea (i enjoy both, but lean much more toward george)... mindful or mindless and everything in between, that's the internet... oddly creative intelligence, i mean, relatively speaking, listening, viewing, reading, or something like that (ignoring ageism is a necessary habit for happiness in this culture, in case you didn't know) and then comes art and discovery and fame...

yes, what can i say, fools, don't fail me now... every time i spend an afternoon or evening or or night or weekend wandering the internet, this time via twitter, i find something amazing or at least amusing and once again, a wonderful vacation from the daily grind (and tv) and the other life i live offline... entertainment on the internet is as much fun to find as it is to enjoy... and sometimes strangely inspiring...

you? :)

Friday, February 20, 2015

half here, half gone

softball in a few... that's the challenge these days, spending so much time elsewhere... loving the elsewheres, but away from the words, the blogs, the written gardens... away from the home, the lazy comfort, the private personal self-space... away from the writing place inside and most especially, outside in the physical world... and yet, still, the words bounce around the head and form all sorts of odd ends from fun rhymes to bottlenecks as they try to get out through the written word... and then there is everything else elsewhere to distract and occupy space and time within the head and in the physical life... yeah, so here i am recording the process and maybe that will help loosen up the words which is the key to peace and happiness or maybe it'll just help organize the priorities which is the key to sanity, which is pretty important as well ya know...

as always however, the words do find their way out cuz that's the way i am... the flow must go on...

narf :)

Thursday, February 19, 2015

sleepy head

yes i am, just sitting here nodding off as i fast forward through the commercials stip stip stip stup what?... oh, so after nodding a bit, i recall living in a basement and having sex there for the first time, maybe, which has nothing to do with the television shows i watched after i snacked and woke and watched what?... ridiculous notchos (not chos?) in a country of spoiled pampered entitled children (and not in a good way)... meanwhile, i often forget how much i like her weirdness... as if my weirdness wasn't enough, aye?... what weirdness?... hug hug hug, yeah yeah yeah...

i think i fell asleep a few nights in a row with this entry partially written as a few words were added each night, or something like that...

nite nite :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

pushing the envelope

the day started before 6am and i am just getting home almost 10am and i am hungry as my last meal was almost twenty four hours ago made of three lobster tails and some broccoli and asparagus and red lobster rolls and caesar salad and lobster artichoke dip and chips and chocolate cake and ice cream and water with lemon, yeah yeah yeah i was healthy on the drink down, healthy on the drink down, yum yum yum to tonight there is organic vegetable soup that comes in the envelope with two cans of chicken and some peas and black beans and mushrooms and three eggs, two mixed into the soup before it cooked and one on top sunny side up, sorta of, and onions and spices and some sort of soy butter and other stuff (the magic ingredient and yum yum yum... here here here we are here here here... time to eat the soup...

yeah, so, what was your day like?...

narf :)

almost sleeping

yes the fool pushes the mind beyond the reasonable limits of the body's ability to function at optimal efficiency or even maximum potential within acceptable limits and everybody wants to dance dance la la la sing sing a song some enchanted evening on a street where you live all you need is love la la la la la...

wish you were here...

narf :)

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

relative nightmare

there is little clue to the cause or effect or reason or rhyme or purpose or meaning of the title other than to have the words written as the title of life among the humans or perhaps some late night tv show but the band broke up before it really got started and so the hit singles were mostly imaginary like most everything else in the early years of the written gardens with a side of fried, sweet potato of course, and there is egg in your soup, must have dropped in unexpectedly, vegetable it was supposed to be and when we take it to the next level we have no limits or restrictions beyond the mind of the creator inhabiting the body of the fiction writer you may or may not see before you leave...

don't let it get you down, aye?...

narf :)

no love left behind (the way i choose)

ah, dear world, you have become as imaginary as imaginary becomes when times passes without some form of communication, signs of life... but that never stopped me before, after all... life is but a dream in so many ways so i keep in touch as well as i can whether i am asleep or awake (or in between), whether it is real or imaginary (or interchangeable)... it is just the way i choose to see the world... it is just the way i choose the experience this life... it is just the way that's right for me, the way i choose to be... and you don't have to explore anymore... and you don't have to want to keep in touch enough to keep in touch... and you don't have to care about me anymore, even if you do or think you think you do too much... you don't have to show it for me to know it (or pretend to be a classic epic corresponding poet)... you don't have to do anything to live in my mind... that's just the way i choose to be, call it cruel or kind... it's just the way i choose to not leave love behind... it's just the way i choose, win or lose, i am resigned... to live and be just the way i choose to be in my mind...

Monday, February 16, 2015

Evancho II

so five CDs arrived today and one is almost played through and sometimes amazing grace has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with a voice... i see jenna louise coleman's face peeking out from around this text box and hear the voice of delicate beauty that many would call an angel in spite of having no point of reference except in their imagination, but let reality not diminish the sound coming from the child's lips... holding her own with barbra (almost) and josh groban at nine years old is amazing... timing is everything... if you're lucky (and listening), you can find amazing everywhere... some kids simply live a charmed life, even in pittsburgh...

and though perhaps it is her ignorance that shows through in her intonations as she sings (and does not sound like she truly understand the depths of) vincent, but then, if she did, now that would be amazing squared, at least... a beautiful instrument played by a child leaves the words rather hollow, but still, so sweet to the ear, precious and few are the moments we find like these that return us to a child's innocence...

sigh... and of course, narf :)

Sunday, February 15, 2015

stop me when i'm done

of course you will need to be within arm's reach to do that cuz even if you somehow hacked into my world and destroyed my current computers and internet connections, i'd find other ways to pour myself into words online and even if there was no internet, i'd simply return to scribbling words on paper coiled in bottles tossed into the ocean or left on some street corner tacked to a telephone pole or tucked into a doorway or posted on some bulletin board anywhere there might be a bulletin board... did you read me at the laundry today?... the supermarket?... the community center?... did you find me on a subway wall or perhaps stuffed between the pages of a magazine you glanced through waiting in line... words can be left anywhere, and have been... magical mystery tour... or right here on the internet...

you'll know when i am done some far off halloween, stay tuned to see what i mean...

narf :)


Saturday, February 14, 2015

lover

there comes a time when life becomes less about unwrapping the gift and more about enjoying the gift with the giver... it may be a matter of mortality, of realizing that life is finite and death is around any corner that awakens the clock in the head and prioritizes every choice and every action... the wrapping on a CD can become a waste of time so tedious that the choice is to turn on the radio instead of opening the CD... the multi-CD player eliminates time spent changing CDs... somewhere along the way, time say catch me if you can and the race begins... along about that time you start questioning why a nine year old girl is singing a song called lover...

propriety can suck, but on the other hand, nine year old girls probably shouldn't even think about it...

narf :}

Friday, February 13, 2015

it still continues

famous last words, but yes, it still continues... the endless flow of words that is... not just for effect, or affect, even, but for reason and purpose at times, and then, at times for no reason at all for nonsense is the best sense sometimes (bennett serf taught me that, whatever bbking17 might mean) and i do remember liking sex very much, still do, actually, even though lately i've not felt completely sure i remember the experience of sharing it in a biblical sense cuz after all it's been days but that is not merely an attention seeking segue nor is it a passionate (or subtle) please for companionship of the sexual sort even if there is no reason to believe there is any other reason or purpose for the endless babbling that still continues... perhaps you've heard...

sleep could come at any moment even as the brain buzzes with babble...

narf :)

Thursday, February 12, 2015

some nights, no words

but they never stop in my head, even when i sleep, the words continue over and over and over and more and more and more and and not always as repetitive as this either and sometimes even more creative and imaginative than this too and the babble is but a small part of the run on sentences that flow through the brain and even when it seems to stop abruptly

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

some nights, no sleep

and along about three am the thought did occur to me that the old patter of insomnia may have returned even though it is not the ordinary or textbook version of the diagnosis for i could almost always fall right to sleep if i turned the tv off and stopped writing and laid down but rather i crave self-expression and input too so the perfect mix would be intimacy with an equal or at least a libido fantasy but alone the substitute is writing (self-expression) with the tv on in the background (input) thank you johnny five and all ships at sea...

don't let the sun go down on me, aye?...

narf :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

when i need you

there's a song with that title and it certainly rushed through me as i tyoed the words but i was more referring to an entry when i started writing the words as i noticed that i left an oddly momentary entry up top in this blog for a few days which gives that entry more clout in the page view world, but that's ok cuz she's not my type anyway what will all the fanfare, but still, an entry is a child and i love them all the same, mostly, with some simply being more a part of me than others... and then sometimes, not...

it was quite impulsive to create this masterpiece of distraction, which is the epitome of a great entry in my blog world and who else matters in my blog world, after all... anyone who cares, of course... i am desperate for caring, addicted, no less, and cuz i care so much and it is exhausting to not have it reciprocated at the same level of energy and intensity if you know what i mean (and if you do... tell me about it)...

if you missed the last one, or this one, even, no worries, that desperate need you feel for another can only last a moment and another will be popping up anytime now...

narf :)

i

mostly a lack of my magination leaves the title ncomplete... suppose there is something profoundly creative secretly mbedded in the entry you are reading, what would that mean to you?... would you recognize?... mpressed?... you might have swung on a star or carried moonbeams in a jar, but the the point of the matter is there is no point, as usual, merely a halef eaten chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat toast... only the toast half was eaten, if you've seen the movie too... bottle of red and white helps... elton and bernie and billy and sue, yeah, i've seen that movie too... slept through the evening on into the night, missed it, did you?... it's an occupational hazard...

i didn't leave out the i for nothing, what's that in your eye, by the way... the music you hear in the backgroun isn't the music you want me to play... i say all the words that you want me to hear but you are afraid to say... there is no i in love you know, we weren't born yesterday... the truth isn't easy so people avoid it especially when lies can pay... will you reveal that you are one of them or will you come clean today?... it is not about you or me, tell me about us if you want me to stay... or something like that...

were you looking for something?...

narf :)

Monday, February 9, 2015

jackie evancho

omg (for the potential... what do you think, my first favorite amazing singer barbara?)... she's been around for years and i first hear her last night... my ears are in love (but does she have the depth to understand the words that speak of her potential experience?)... and i feel so sad for her... she already looks like a lost child afraid to be all she can be in reality... i can only hope she meets someone who helps her unlearn all she is taught so she can find herself and trust herself and leave behind (and rise above) all the the normalness, conformity, and fears so accepted as the human way and human frailty so she can experience life within herself without fear or doubt or delusion... trust yourself, little one, don't believe a word they say - just trust yourself...

watch (and as i watched, fwiw, i wrote the following unsolicited review and advice)...

She is an amazing vocalist who could be an amazing singer. The former sings musical notes, the latter sings words. Whoever taught Barbara Streisand how to articulate words while singing needs to get with Jackie. Feel the words and the music and look someone (or the camera) in the eye as if the words of the song is actually a message to them, that's the next level of magic for a singer/performer. It takes maturity, experience, and understanding / feeling / expressing / communicating / personalizing lyrics, not just making amazing music (which she already does). I hope Jackie finds that :)
Slow down. The words say something, they are not just musical notes. Handling actually feeling the words of a song is scary because it shows the true depth (or shallowness) of the one singing. It takes great strength and maturity and courage which comes from within. The deeper you let it reach you, the more powerful the performance. How real can you make it without losing everything. How deep can you go and still return to the surface after the song? How high can you fly into the song and still stay grounded between songs. That is the magical journey of singing I hope Jackie finds. The potential is there.

listen...


Sunday, February 8, 2015

wandering around youtube

when wandering around youtube do you ever wonder why it seems like all roads lead to the same place like everybody who is anything on youtube knows each other and they all just laugh and promote each other even when they are getting over-dramatic or emo or serious, even?... what?... it's kind of like asking what's the point? and having someone answer like seriously when there is no point and the question was like, rhetorical... might as well listen to dog thoughts... but it's a whole new world (not like alladin, fool) out there and people are making imaginary friends with imaginary people making imaginary shows that people are believing are real... with bloopers, no less... i remember reading (just kidding)... it is all about your interest and perspective...

and still there is music... and sex... i mean, if you are into any of that stuff...

narf :)

Saturday, February 7, 2015

lobster buffet

there are few buffets worth $40 and sometimes the one we went to tonight may not be, but it was worth $40 tonight as everything was good... i read reviews and some where great and some were terrible but what the terrible reviews had in common were their expectations... a buffet is a feeding frenzy with people lined up (and occasionally pushing) at feeding troughs as if they never saw food before... some take forever as if they are the only one in line, some slip ahead of those people delaying others, a buffet is all about perspective and attitude... if you want table service and high quality seafood, you don't go to a buffet... if you want to serve yourself and eat as much mass cooked sea food as you can, a buffet is for you... the best thing on the buffet was the crab legs... the lobster was somewhat overcook, but that is to be expected of lobster on a buffet... see for yourself (a fair view of the hot buffet and what's on it)... and here's what people at trip advisor have to say...

they have good prime rib if you want meat and a whole lot more on their menu (which vaires among the items as any buffet does)... i'm hungry all over again just reading the menu...

so anyway, helen loves buffets like i do and we used to go much more regularly but i am way too busy these days (like for the past year and a half and before that i was economizing for a year and a half) so i was happy she suggested the boston lobster feast this weekend cuz i had a free saturday night and all that unintentional reviewing above was my way of getting to the point that we stuffed ourselves good and enjoyed every mouthful tonight... i left here 196 pounds and returned 203 pounds... ok, so i had nearly no clothes on when i left and had clothes and shoes on when i got back, but i still ate what felt like a ton of seafood and loved every minute of it, so there...

distraction

distraction is the way to survive life when there is nothing that can be done about frustration or worse... there was the time when it was time to release some frustration into words (those words could have been read here last year, but then, that's the point of the title of the original post in this blog that could have been read... it's about talking to each other, resolving betrayals, not avoiding frustrations that create clutter in our heads, in our living spaces, and in our lives... and the compromise of accepting frustrations rather facing the causes of the betrayals and lack of trust and reality... then sherlock distracts me with a description of people that i wanted to look up because i understand and in some ways share his view of people so when he said ...people are a crassulent, beef-witted lot." i wanted to know what he meant... first i had to find the script to get the spelling of the words as his accent made a phonetic spelling challenging... luckily scripts can be found on line, although they are not perfect and the hindi was not translated... a hindi therapist?... would be interesting to know what holmes said, butt hat's beside the point... so i suppose the point is that i agree, people are a crassulent, beef-witted lot... is sherlock a vegetarian?... anyway, sad, really... and then during a commerical i saw something that lead me to this odd site...

hey, that's what tv is for, right?...

narf :)

Friday, February 6, 2015

stuff you want to know

or maybe it is stuff i want to know, or stuff that matters if you care but really might be as meaningless as anything else in this temporary life, or the number of hairs on the back of a fruit fly, for that matter... the fact remains, as far as the history books can tell, this song was #1 the on day i was born... but rock around the clock was #1 on the day i was conceived, which makes a universe of difference to me and anyone in touch with the big bang of life... yeah, the two humans creating me were rocking around the clock till the broad day light... no wonder i have always been so sexually alive from before birth throgh the present day... and it also explains my love of and intuitive beyond explanation by current science connection with music... elvis's pelvis influenced my creation and development from the very beginning... anyone alive and aware would have felt the free-wheeling energy that finally exploded into the free love generation... you did have to be there to truly understand and so few were, even those who actually were alive at the time, so few were there, awareness being what it is (or is not)...

so people either handle everything they can experience with their minds wide open or they shut themselves down in a myriad of ways, many suicidal, or they become functional paranoids living in fear of what they sense is all around them but unwilling to trust themselves to handle it all... yeah, i'm one of the ones not in any of those groups, so all this may be meaningless, or profound...

narf :)

Thursday, February 5, 2015

sleep is good

sometimes i wonder... i wonder so many things... too many to count... too many to write down... too many to comprehend in a lifetime... it leaves a mind cluttered at times... for instance, about twenty minutes ago, or perhaps a bit longer, i started this entry... my mind drifted to wonder about a call i received from a service company who left a half a message (you know, when the recorded message starts before your greeting message ends so you receive only the second half of the recorded message that tells you to call a number but you have no idea why and sometimes don't even know who left the message... i consider that SPAM and worse and ignore the message, much to the chagrin of companies setting appointments for service calls or wanting money or other things from me... if you want my attention, talk to me, don't send a recorded message through my voicemail that is set up for failure because it starts before the beep, aye?) and i found myself reading emails and some twenty-odd minutes later, i was reading about my old professional stomping grounds, OMRDD (which is now called OPWDD, for political correctness and being right, in this case) after listening to about a dozen videos produced by these guys which lead me to this guy (memories of meeting him flashed from somewhere in the brain making this journey a lot more personal) who lead me to this site which reminded me of my old professional stomping grounds...

i fell asleep (and stayed asleep, for a change) earlier than usual last night... maybe about nine... sleep opens all sorts of doors in the mind connecting present and past and inspiring hope and visions for the future... yes, sleep is good... everyone should try it now and then...

narf :)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

trimming more fat

salad, chicken, clams, fat free mayo, and three hundred fifty calories of chocolate for dessert... approximately nine hundred calories in all... yes, ideally for weight loss leaving the 350 calories of chocolate out would have been wise, but hey, a slower sweeter road is not wrong, it is just slower and sweeter... all that food put me to sleep (or was it the long week with minimal sleep?... both, of course) for a few hours and here we are, semi-groggy and semi-euphoric... did i mention the weight dropped to 195.8 as a peak low?... it was 196 when i got home tonight... so the weight loss has slowed, which makes it tougher to stay on the path, but probably healthier for the heart and major organs... still not exercising more than the softball, which is keeping the weight loss at an even slower pace, again testing my patience and probably better for the body... stop being so lazy and get on the road again, yeah, and to the gym again, yeah, and pick up the weights again, yeah... so what else is new?...

still not de-cluttering any more the last few weeks... so the living room remains cluttered and i am still sleeping on the couch because the violation of theft of thousands has still not been processed and resolved so i hide nothing and see how much trust i see reason to give again... not talking about it doesn't help... yeah, i don't talk about it much, privacy, what's the point by myself, blah blah blah...

staying alone (and the clutter helps that) for the same old reasons, people are people and not quite ready for honesty, truths, or my perspective on things... i tire of explaining lately... wonder if drugs would help...

irreverent to the end, love me...

narf :)

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

scanning

it takes time to maintain systems and computers and life and there is so little time... so this weekend i spent hours running virus scans and malware scans and updates to various softwares that i don't want to automatically update and it all takes specific permissions and prompting and time time time to get it done right... it happens in the background at work, but then, there is an IT department at work making sure everything happens as it should... here at home i must be the download police, the installation police, the scan monitor, and so on as updates often try to install crap i definitely do not want on my computer and scans do not fix things automatically because that can erase stuff i want... software is far from perfect, after all...

and then there's email and other stuff... so much stuff... clutter... life... and so little time...

narf :)

running out of room

in the living space, on the hard drive, and eventually, on the planet... that is the human way and i've learned it well... currently windows update is installing another NET framework update and while i wait i noticed the hard drive only has about 30 GB free space and while in theory that is plenty to run everything on the computer, it lets me know that the drive is almost 90% full so a defrag and other operations might be slower so i must make time to off-load GBs of data... one thing i must do is check the recycle bin cuz it is full of photos and files and i must make sure they are duplicates and then there are the photos that i download from the camera regularly and i know i have many duplicates there cuz i've downloaded them a half dozen times without deleting them from the camera and there's a lot more i need to look through for deletion...

yeah yeah yeah, what else is knew?...

you? :)

Monday, February 2, 2015

ordering stuff

i went on a bit of a shopping spree recently and some of the things i ordered were t-shirts including a pink floyd shirt and a browncoats shirt from firefly and serenity and a physics shirt supporting fusion and a don't forget about me shirt from the breakfast club (i bought one for jackson cuz it's one of her favorite movies)... i bought a few other goodies that i don't recall at the moment... including food shopping, i spent more than $1000 more than i usually spend in a month so i suppose cutting back next month is a good idea which might be why i mention it here (did i mention wondering why i mentioned it here?) so the idea becomes more ordering stuff or something like that and therein (wherein?) more apt to be remembered and therein actually actualized...

maybe i will list more later...

stuff!...

foodie notes

when i finally get back to the weight loss and then, when i finally drop below 180, when i finally find the one (actually, i'll go by myself, i just won't enjoy it quite as much, but enjoy i will), i will make it to brown's ny deli and also to brooklyn water bagels which are now in orlando and have me drooling, but i will resist until i am under 180 again... focus, beeeatch!... yeah, another month or two... and after that i will make it over to tampa to eddie and sam's for some pizza made with new york water and then try the other four others on this list... anyway, focus on the prize eye on and all that... broaden the horizons...

but indulge the foodie, please...

narf :)

Sunday, February 1, 2015

tom brady

some seasons he is great... some seasons he is amazing... consistency, game winning drives, reliability, confidence, patience, above all else class in wins and in losses, that is greatness in a sports hero... when joe montana played, joe montana was my favorite football player for the same reasons... tonight, my current favorite football player broke montana's record, among other records... 13 touchdown passes in the superbowl, montana is now second with 11... first player to throw touchdowns to four different players in a superbowl... four superbowl wins, tied for first with terry bradshaw and joe montana... three superbowl mvps, record... six total superbowls, record for quarterback... belichek ties for six superbowl appearances... this was a great game all the way through... there was more and i will list them below...

first, i will call out the shame of this superbowl ... the sycophants at espn and the rest of the news media (as usual, reporting drama and controversy and focusing on tearing someone down which they do so often it sucks to watch espn or sports news people, rather than focusing on the game and the great plays) once again (and too often) pandering to the lowest human traits by tearing into pete carroll... the throw was off, the receiver did not fight for the ball, the defense gave up 14 points in the fourth quarter and the offence scored none, and pete carroll likely didn't even make the call on the last play, that's why there are offensive coaches, to make the offensive play calls... fact: six times marshawn lynch was given the ball with one yand to go this season and he was stopped five out of six times... fact: if not for a fluke bounce and amazing catch just two plays before, there might not have been a first and goal... news media, your negativity sucks - get a clue news media (not all), most especially espn...

meanwhile, here's the facts:

SUPER BOWL RECORDS SET IN SUPER BOWL XLIX

Most Passes, Career - 247, Tom Brady (extended own record)
Most Completions, Career - 164, Tom Brady (extended own record)
Most Completions, Game - 37, Tom Brady
Most Completions, Game, Team - 37, New England
Most Passing Yards, Career - 1,605, Tom Brady (extended own record)
Most Touchdown Passes, Career - 13, Tom Brady
Longest Punt - 64 yards, Ryan Allen
Largest 2nd-Half Deficit Overcome To Win Game, Team - 10 points, New England
Most Players, Touchdown Receptions, Game, Team - 4, New England
Most First Downs Passing, Game, Team - 21, New England
Fewest Kickoff Returns, Game, Team - 0, Seattle
Fewest Kickoff Returns, Game, Both Teams - 3, New England vs. Seattle
Fewest Kickoff Return Yards, Game, Team - 0, Seattle
Fewest Kickoff Return Yards, Game, Both Teams - 49, New England vs. Seattle

SUPER BOWL RECORDS TIED IN SUPER BOWL XLIX

Most Games - 6, Tom Brady
Most Games Won, QB - 4, Tom Brady
Most MVP Awards - 3, Tom Brady
Most Games, Head Coach - 6, Bill Belichick
Most Games Won, Head Coach - 4, Bill Belichick
Most Games, Team - 8, New England
Largest Deficit Overcome To Win Game, Team - 10 points, New England
Fewest Field Goal Attempts, Game, Both Teams - 1, New England vs. Seattle
Fewest First Downs Rushing, Game, Team - 1, New England
Fewest Rushing Touchdowns, Game, Team - 0, New England
Fewest Fumbles, Game, Both Teams - 0, New England vs. Seattle

adolph hitler?

ok, yeah, so sometimes life provides chills... just wish the set up didn't include preaching, condescension, and snarkiness... see (you might if you click on the links), moments after reading this i watched this... the connective thread to two very different media experiences is in the title and coincidence or influence beyond my comprehension unless i take it on mostly blind faith, it happens and it's a special kind of emo we can call warm chills or eerieness or something like that...

i suppose i will leave it there... you'll just have to click on the links to get the title...

narf :)

Catch up (and know more)

musical distractions

If people had visible signs or meters that told something about them, what would you want it to tell you?

dumb poll (above), smart responders

all the previous poll votes were somehow erased, so, nevermind... ironically or coincidentally or whatever, the results were very close in practical numbers to the results above shown with just three votes, if you understand the mathematics behind that extrapolative reasoning... i will probably remove the poll at some point... it is a ridiculously useless feature...

SEARCH ME

the thing is, with my tendency to babble and meander and whine and allow distraction to take the lead more often than not, even in this blog that sort of meant to merge brevity with focus like some bloggers do, searching for key words does not always lead to specific information about the subject of that key word... but... here is a start at an easy way to search for key words in this blog... use the search box at the top of the blog to search for words not listed here... if ya wanna, that is... and feel free to suggest words to add to this search shortcut section... click on the words below :)

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