holy time moving

i was enjoying whatever i was doing yesterday and last night so much that i fogot to come here and tell you about it... must have been fun... it was something about enjoying getting into my own head and wandering the web wherever it might lead and softball in the evening followed by basketball (cuz softball was not satisfying physically) and then cooked dinner and wandered youtube and the web all night and then, slept all day (almost) and the nocturnal clock is buzzing and the excitment of feeling the nocturnal clock buzzing is bouncing all over the place and so, yay :)

anybody here?

yeah, i know, it's a hopefulness based on hope alone as i check to see if anybody stopped by any of my online spaces almost every time i return home, especially since starting this e-the-real blog where i stop in for brief updates and the waving the waterboys sang of all those years ago...

another game party with some of the funnest people in orlando and even though i was nodding off and so ready to sleep before i left, a little caffeine and sugar and i was playing and here we are, ten hours later, groggy but more awake than i was... friends and fun and the night...

maybe i'll get two hours sleep before morning practice and somehow i'll get some pants washed (or maybe i'll just stop and buy another pair of pants) for work this week, but after practice i'm hoping i don't stink too much so i can nap somewhere downtown before the party and the afternoon game so i might rejoin the party after the game (hoping i still don't stink too much) and somehow squeeze in getting the pants washed or bought and getting some sleep before starting another work week...

it's not like this is any sort of revelation (speaking of redundant thoughts), but there really are not enough hours in a day on this planet... i need to find a planet with 42 hour days, that is the answer, ya see :)

hope you are enjoying your sleep and your day is even more fun when you wake :)

happy birthday nic

i was supposed to sleep tonight

cuz i have softball practice in four hours and it is close to freezing outside, which means muscles won't want to stretch much and fatigue just makes injury all the more possible... dummy...

me and my nocturnal lover's hours :)

softball returns

cuz practice makes better, or so the theory goes... but the frustrating thing for the sunday team (yes, the league championship sunday team) is too many players on the team do not take practice seriously and we do poorly and they reinforce bad habits and better doesn't happen nearly as well as it could and should in practice... frustrating and a waste of my time, but i support the coach's intentions...

the hamstring is feeling much better, but i am not running more than a trot until the tournament (three weeks)... and how is your day? :)

long week, but got some sleep

as you will know already (how's that for playing with tenses?... wait, i'm not done) if you read the previous posts that have yet to be written (O-O, what a word geek, aye?), on monday night i pulled a hamstring tagging up from second to third on a short fly ball to center and then limped home from third with the tying run in the bottom of the seventh on the next batter's hit... we won the game and tonight, the team played without me and won the first game of the playoffs... next thursday is the rest of the playoffs and i will see how the leg feels, but i definitely will take a pinch runner if i play and make it to first base...

in other news, precious totalled her second car for the year last night and i was sleeping... she's ok, though spent some hows in the hospital getting checked out... the worst bruising came from the seat belt... i thought she had an airbagm but i never rode in the second car so i suppose not... the first accident she was hit from behind while at a red light... this time she couldn't stop in time when someone stopped short in front of her... the SUV had a damaged bumper, her car received a totalled front end... the benefit of driving a gas guzzler, i suppose...

i am taking tomorrow off, mostly, to take care of business, so i should sleep some tonight, but at least i did sleep more than ten hours the past two nights, which is wonderful (says the body and mind) and also why i haven't been here... so to all the silent millions of fans out there who love me and miss me (and the few who actually leave a few words now and then), all is well in the real and while all could be better, i've got fewere complaints every day (mostly cuz i'm a day closer to dead and understand the logic and wisdom of not wasting time or energy on worry or stressing over the small stuff, but there may also be some greater depth and stability to the balance and peace within the psyche, yeah, it's not just apathy and ambivalence, nyuk)...

much more to come in previous entries here, there (which may be real time, behind the candoor, or even bullsugar, but wait, there are even newer blogs budding out there if you're clever enough to track them down... shhhh, it's our little secret until the tabloids get a hold of the photos and text messages and twitters and pull a tiger woods on us), and other places... life is good and amusing, as usual... and just think of what getting a lot of sleep might do to the profundity and candor of the babble, aye?...

narf :)

ouch, dangit!

pulled a hamstring again, only the second time, but definitely set myself up for it by not stretching enough on a chilly night when i worked a twelve hour day without eating or drinking and slept maybe two hours the night before and at most four hours a night the previous week or few and it's probably been a year since i actually slept through until i woke naturally, maybe longer, and definitely several years since i took time off and just slept as much as the body/mind wanted for a week or so (which is the best way to tay healthy and long a long life, but that's not really the priority for our culture cuz there's no profit in it)...

we did win the game and I scored the run that tied the game in the bottom of the last inning by beating out a ground ball to first (sprint #1) and then beating out the throw to second on a ground ball to short (sprint #2, the second baseman bobbled the ball), and then beating out the tag up throw from short center from second to third (sprint #3, pulled the hamstring), and then limping home on the single to right that followed… and the kids on the team may never realize what it takes to play at a higher level than they do in a body somewhat older than theirs, but hey, my other teams appreciate me (nyuk-ish)…

so i could get all sorts of philosophical (and cynical) alluding to the limited awareness and delusional childhood in which humanity remains steadfastly (and vehemently, arrogantly, and violently) submerged, just a step or two away from the children they were believing in santa and the easter bunny in the younger years of individual life times, but hey, I’ll just focus on healing and raising my consciousness even if that isolates me all the more… ah, alas, and narf…

if you only knew :}

home from the tourney

actually, i got home last night and stopped in to check comments and mail and such... no mail, which is the usual as i stopped using email and snailmail for corresponding some years ago... with a little help from my toronto family, aye? (ah, the sarcasm rubs, no doubt)... the apartment mailbox has a vacant card in it cuz i check it so seldom the mail person assumes the apartment is vacant... the po box is checked once or twice a month, but often the mail from there just piles up somewhere waiting for me to find time and motivation to sort through... and maybe that is because i no longer trust people on a personal level, not even for communication... could be i've swallowed too many lies, but then, it could simply be laziness and the desire to rest for the few minutes i am actually home... anyway, i do keep this up (and the babbling elsewhere), so some part of me still wants to keep in touch even if few else do...

deep thoughts, perhaps, as the tourney was fun but brought out some deep thoughts for the team last night about winning and losing and teamwork and family and egos and priorities and fun and competitiveness and statistics and, anyway, we came in third out of 29 teams, which would have been great had the coaches not been so competitive and the younger players on the team not followed suit... so much inexperience, it's amazing they got that far... the coaches were playing games elsewhere most of the time, but they returned for the two final games and we lost them both, i say largely due to the way they coached, the mistakes they made, and the pressure they put on the young players... we were on a seven game winning streak that was mostly without them and the close games were the ones they showed up for part of the games...

anyway, i sent an email to the team that i'll put in one of the babbling blogs just cuz that is what i do, or used to do, partly to keep in touch with myself, for posterity, and hoping that someone cares to know what goes on in my head more than the brief moments here, and ultimately for that dream of sharing everything with the one... yes, ever the hopelessly hopeful romantic even as i actualize the intimacy of a hermit...

maybe i'll write more later, but for now, the internet is frustratingly slow (att sucks, microsoft vista sucks, the usual suckages) and mostly i am enjoying sitting and vegging cuz it was a very long weekend and while mostly fun and nothing hurts (yay for the durable old body, aye?), fatigue is blissfully high...

hope your weekend was as much fun as mine, even more, even :)

almost excitement

between the championship and spirit award and mvp wins over the weekend and the pending eight days in a row away from work (i hope) starting tomorrow night, there is almost excitement abounding around here... and that's without caffeine, even...

did i mention jackson talked me into starting yet another team?... yeah, another softball team takes the field to fill the sunday afternoons... co-ed, and this one will have more girls than boys... cute girls too, and cool people inside the cuteness... unfortunately for my dreams of intimacy and falling in love, they are mostly not interested in boys that way... yeah, i mean sex... ironic, i look around at most of my best friends and find they are gay and while i am comfortable enough (the flex boys will all be sharing beds at the tournament to save money on hotel rooms, after all), my libido still lusts most for that dream of adorable petite girl...

and floating even closer to the core of the experience i've known as being me in this life, i still live in a very different place from everyone i've ever met in this life... and while it does get lonely where i am, i still wouldn't want to live anywhere (or anyway else)... so while i mock the excitement of life as harry and his band did when he'd say and the excitement continues to build, i still find the most exciting thing in this life is being me and the possibility of sharing...

anybosy wanna share? :)

very much owie (softball report)

big ice bag on the right knee cuz the monday league is ridiculous as one of the teams is a full fledged B team with some definite A level players and the first three batters hit line drives right at me hard enough to bounce off my knee, hand, and glove (respectively) and shoot past infielders into the outfield (one so that the outfielder did not have to run in more for the ball)... that is definitely wrong, but hey, it was a sick kind of fun to play and get creamed by a team two plus levels above...

the unfair part is the league lets them qualify as a D comp team... if you recall, the Monday team is the one with all the guys who swing for the fences every time, which is not the way to win at softball... anyway, i sit with an ice pack on my very swollen knee and hope to be all healed by Sunday when the team that I take most seriously (and depends on me to pitch every pitch) plays again... that team (here's the good news) took both games of the double header yesterday, 5-0 in the first and 19-0 in the second game... we now have first place because we are tied with 8-2 records with a team we beat in the first game of the season...

we will likely be in the four team play-off in the sunday league... Monday has one more game and I won't miss it much... Tuesday is over and I won't miss that much either because it too was a macho-testostrone driven team, again, not the formula for winning softball... Thursday has three more games and it's becoming testosterone driven and I'll probably skip the game this thursday to let the knee and finger (finger very swollen too) rest...

i am back to hitting well, going eight for nine in my last fifteen at-bats with six walks and i scored from first twice and went first to third three times, which means my running is still improving... so yay for the fun and the improvement and the fun and the friends and the fun and the hope that i will find the dream team (which is more based on friends than winning) and the one so we can fall in love and live happilly ever after forever and ever and ever and...

how you doin? :)

softball follies

six leagues, six teams, six families, a million stories in the naked softball follies... ok, so i copped the opening line here from some very old tv show, but the softball follies continue in realtime in thereal, so this entry shall record the fun and folly for the moment...

one team disbanded, leaving five and one is on hiatus (the work team that played together three seasons and took third in it's first season together, second in it's second season together, and first {and we have the throphies and city championship t-shirts to prove it} in it's third season together, rah rah rah), leaving four, but four games a week while working full time and trying to maintain a modicum of social life is nothing to sneeze at...

this week we went 2-2, which is the worst record i've had in at least six weeks (there was a fourteen game winning strewak in there where only my monday night team too a loss for a four week stretch, which was cool and i had a seventeen at-bat hitting streak going during that stretch too)...

this week, however, the sunday team won, beating the first place 1-loss team to move half game out of first place with a 6-2 record with four games left to place (first place team that we beat has a 7-2 record with three left to play)... on sundays i pitch every game... we have a double header next week and a chance to win out and finish at least tied for first to force a playoff...

the monday team lost to the last place team (ironically, the monday team is all male good players who are too macho to swing for base his so most at-bats end up with long fly outs or pop-ups with the occasional home run slipped in for the moment of glory... in softball, the key to winning is stringing lots of simple base hits together and scoring lots of runs, but younger macho males just want to swing as hard as they can every time and that's just what a good pitcher wants)... on mondays i pitch part time and i always play better when i pitch cuz sitting and dh'ing is tougher on this old body... i still hit for my average though... anyway, i think monday is 2-7 or something like that... definitely an effort in futility...

tuesday won to finish 5-5 for the season and that's it for tuesday's team until next season... i pitched five of the games and we won four of them, but it's another all-male league where long fly balls and pop-ups hurt... iu barely hit .500 in this league for one reason or another... hitting is mostly psychological and after going 5-5 in the first game and 3-4 in the second (we split the, going 1-1, because we forfeited the first game cuz not enough players showed up) and then being benched because i don't swing for home runs so i am seen as a poor hitter (go figure the macho brain), we lost four straight and then they decided to pitch me again and we won four straight to be 4-4 and then they decided to bench me again for the last two games and we spilt them... this was the first league i had more than one out in a game and in one game i actually went 1-4, the worst game i've had in two years and more than 100 games)... frustrating...

thursday's team lost it's first game this week to drop to a tie for first place with four or five other teams with a 3-1 record... the macho hitters dominated the game with long fly outs and pop-ups while errors gave the other team runs they shouldn't have had... this was the first game i didn't pitch this season for this team... i did go 2-2... we batted 13 in the line-up, and i was 11th, so i only got up twice... i understand that the coach thinks he is being fair to the other pitcher on the teams where there are two pitchers, but the other pitcher plays third base when he's not pitching on monday and on thursday (the teams overlap about four or five players) and i get to sit and watch because everybody else will give him flack if they are told to sit... anyway, we lose our fastest player who moved out of town this week, so hopefully we can get back to winning next week...

i pitch well and hit well for average and the two teams i pitch 100% of the games are the teams with the worst players but they know that softball is not all about power hitting, so they have had the best records... the other teams are always looking to find another power hitter to add to the team which sits players like me cuz they judge softball skill on power... and the all-male teams are beer-drinking junk-food eating party people who prefer the wing house (hooters-type sports bars) to pretend they are not staring at the scantilly clad waitresses while playing beer drinking games and eating fried everything, which puts me on the outside as i am doing muy best to stay away from junk food and i rarely drink cuz i long ago tired of alcohol (and besides, it's full of calories like junk food) and while the girls are sweet to look at, it's a false social encounter like watching porn or pretending to read playboy for the articles, so i still keep looking for teams that understand the fundamentals and play as a team, rather than for the momentary individual glory of a home run... and healthy eating and lifestyle habits would be a big plus... maybe i should try to get a bunch of vegetarians together for a team... a friend (jackson) talked me into to fronting the money to start a new sunday afternoon team during the other sunday team's off-season and hopefully she will find players who enjoy the game and play the fundamentals of base hits so it'll be more a team fun time... that'll be team seven, by the way...

and there are the softball follies for this week... odd that i choose a week with the worst record of the last five or six weeks (there were a couple of 4-0 weeks in there what with the 14 game winning streak)... maybe i don't take assessment and reord stuff until it balances out cuz writing about it when we are streaking could jinx the streak or maybe it's modesty or humility or maybe, most likely, i simply did not have the time...

anyway, i love the game... hope you do something active that you love too (with friends who share your ideals and interests and lifestyles, even better :)

softball

playing four games a week is challenging these days, moreso because of the extra hours i am putting in at work and compounded this month by three busy on-call weekends out of the last four... phew...

yesterday the sunday team beat the first place team 10-3 and tied them for first place... yay sunday team... i had to rush back to work for eight more hours cuz a couple of challenging admissions needed assessments and processing... insurance companies are more challenging than the sickest kids, really...

today the monday team lost 16-15 as one of the big hitters flied out for the last out with bases loaded and me in the on deck circle... i didn't hit as well as i usually do, but i got two hits, scored one run and batted in four runs... monday is a frustrating team cuz they are all trying to hit home runs and we are 2-7...

the thursday team is 3-0 so far and could have a good year, however some of the guys can really have bad games sometimes because they let their egos get in their way and start swinging for the fences which lead to long fly outs most of the time... that's what happens on monday nights as the the males from the thursday team play in an all male competitive league that is better than the co-ed thursday league and we don't win much on mondays...

the tuesday team, again all male in a competitive league, and the team lost the first four games (two cuz not enough people showed up)... there's another pitcher and he pitched three of the first four... and then won four straight i pitched and then we lost the last game... i didn't pitch the last game cuz they let the other pitcher pitch to be fair... we might have lost even if i pitched, but we'll never know...

anyway, that's the softball catch-up for now... still wishing there was a partner in this life sharing it all, but still having fun all by myself... hope you are too :)

life is busy

working extra hours regularly and on call three of the four weekends this month, but just as busy away from work as softball monday nights, tuesday nights, thursday nights, and sundays fills the calendar (linked on the right there, in case you want to know and forgot) and then some game nights and tonight, dinner with the pink pussies of facebook (hey, it's a dining club friends have put together, look it up, tell them bugs sent you... you know, the internet is a weird place so we all adapt online to have fun with the cyber delusions)...

it was lobster night at the ale house so we met and manged and managed to have much fun... and then coming home i stop for some chocolate and find a favorite cookie on sale (but two packages and get one free) so i did and now there's chocolate in the house (and nuts, did i mention nuts?) and the slacker slips a bit further back into the piggy habits and nearer to the 190 limit i thought i set for myself weeks ago when i was teasing the 180 mark (weight talk, ya know)...

tomorrow i'll be at work super early to prepare for the quality council and then have a web meeting in the afternoon and then softball in the evening and dinner if i can get to it with some friends and then friday it's halloween at work and i'll be in super early decorating the back office area which turns into a haunted hallway for the kids and by friday afternoon i'll be a zombie and will i sleep?... that's doubtful on a friday night, but at least there's nothing planned, i think...

so am i alone in life because nobody wants to keep up with me or because i'm moving too fast from fun to work to fun to actually pause and meet someone and nobody wants to meet on the run or is it just my love of garlic?...

sense of humor, gotta have one... hope you do too :)

in the wee hours

this is when i miss the music the most... and the dream of the soulmate who shares the love of music and words and fun and games and caring and sharing and being in love as much as i do... like the way i do, aye mel... wishing you were somehow here again, whomever you are... come out, come out...

meanwhile, back in thereal... i've been playing lots of softball, winning and losing and getting better all the time (3 for 3 tonight, 11 for 12 with 2 walks for the week)... playing monday, tuesday, and thursday nights and sunday afternoons at the moment... and i've been working a lot, every month adding more work to the workload and making slow progress in changing the dysfunction of the system (the hippie fights the establishment from within, aye?)... not doing as much in the social or show going out stuff (as the calendar shows) and still personally intimately and creatively lonely, but loving the softball and even still enjoying the work, so it's all about the fun fun fun until the right one comes along (the beach boys meet art garfunkle meet the stones {cuz they couldn't drag me away}, or something like that)...

but where have you been?...

who me?... well, besides doing all that stuff, almost all my home time has been spent playing the video game diet... that is, i let my gaming addiction take over and replace my food addiction and viola (or violin, voila?... yeah, ok), i finally knocked off a lot of the weight i put on living with humans who eat like normal americans so i have eaten out only a few times in the past few months and have eaten a lot of lean protein and veggies and fruit and healthy fooods and low fat and low carbs and no sugars or chocolates and so on and i dropped 40 pounds (but gained back 10 this week cuz i binged and as if to mock me, the game broke, but it's not a serious relapse and i expect to drop another 20 pounds in the next month or two and yes, who knew)...

so what else is new?...

lots, but that's enough for this entry in the wee hours... if i get the game fixed i might disappear again, so i won't pretend i am back (even though two new blogs started this week... yes, you read right) and more than a dozen or so new entries popped out just in the last few hours (as if the brain never stopped writing, aye?)... can you imagine if there was actually some up close and personal inspiration in my life?... shhhh, let's not scare the grown-ups... so life goes on and i hope you are enjoying yours as much as i am enjoying mine, even if you're not getting everything you want at the moment... even if you've been gone (you're not forgotten)... even if you were never here...

live, laugh, love, and... dance! :)

home again (diggidy?)

whatever it means, i found the aches from this morning fade away after eating lunch, which was a big pile of raw spinach, a few ounces of black beans and a few ounces of chick peas and four cherry tomatoes and five or six broccoli tops and later in the afternoon, some ice tea (with splenda)... crazy, but the protein drink i found (50 calories, 10 gm protein, 16 ounces) must have rebuilt the muscles that were aching like crazy this morning (omigosh, it's a miracle, i am still getting younger... no wonder i keep giggling)...

i got home from softball about three hours ago (we won, finally, 11-9... i struck out at least six... struck out the side one inning... they still hit well when they were not striking out... we hit well in the first inning scoring 6 (i made the last out with a runner on third, sucks to be me that inning... i drove in the last two runs though with a bases loaded two out single to right, so i made up for the first inning fart... and anyway, i find (getting home) a notice that the fire marshall is due for an inspection on wednesday, so i decided to do two loads of laundry while cleaning and rearranging boxes (sort of unpacking a little_ and wow, there's a lot more room in this place now... a few more hours after the movie tomorrow (yeah, tomorrow night it's a movie with friends) and the place might even look more like an apartment than a storage garage... amazing, huh?... who knows what might come next :)

i should probably sleep now... though craig fergie is on... what is most amazing is i didn't talk myself into eating something... not even a 120 calorie vegetable soup that called out my name when i put yesterday's shopping away... i still didn't have time to shop more today, which might suck because publix (supermarket) had a seriously decent sale on veggies yesterday,.. i'm so not frugal these days... just one more thing somebody can save me from myself about, cha know... i've become so human, aye?...

and yet, i still want you to know (even if i am not exactly sure why all the time)... hope you are enjoying your night :)

spin around

working an extra couple of hours because the kids need it and now stopping by to change before heading out to softball... surprises in the mail, if only there was more time, there's a huge backlog of inspiration for the babbler from new york to toronto to cali to oz to left field and... right back around to here...

time to go back out into the world now, hope you are enjoying life too :)

brains cells frying

the body is demanding sleep and shutting down major portions of the brain... this is an experience i have not felt quite this way before in this life and i've been much more fatigued than i am at the moment... blurry is the world right now...

still, i want you to know...

so from 7:40am when i woke through through just after noon i was at the competitive team softball practice and then i shopped for food and lunch and then at 1pm i headed to the other practice and pushed on through past 5pm when i rushed home, showered, redressed, and went to the game night for the academy awards and here i am, home again home again, and all that jazz... and now i will forgo the muses calling out for more writing time and placate the lonelies and hungers with the promise of the wonderful feeling of actually getting more sleep (probably not time to get enough tonight, alas)...

i'm just summarizing in case you wanted to know... take care and keep in touch :)

almost feeling the burn

what i mean is, i would be feeling the burn of muscles from exercise if i was not adept at turning off pain sensors when i focus my concentration on manipulating the neuro-synaptic flow of information from body to brain... i think that is one of the key steps in growing/getting old, forgetting how to do that... i am feeling some of the burn slip through though, which means i am crossing limits and must take great care with further physical challenges until sufficient rest can be obtained, which will hopefully be before i strain something... the bottom line is feeling alive is good, being alive is dangerous, and staying alive is more fun than anything else i've tried, so i shall endeavor to succeed at all three for a change...

meanwhile, i am just getting home from softball and i did not sit once since leaving the house except to drive... pushing the limits... and i stopped for food... light veggie soups and pasta and some protein drinks... lunch was a big green salad, two bananas, grapefruit juice, and a protein drink (which was the most calories of anything by far)... everything consumed today so far was under 1000 calories total and i definitely burned well over 3000, so the process of weight loss begins... you remember, i made a promise?...

yes you do...

meanwhile, i am still loving this song... now i must shower so i can head out to the oscar's (as in academy award themed) game night on time... and if you are reading here and still wondering why i blog, well, you are reading, right... thank you for that... and you never know who might want to know more about me while remaining somewhat incognito, so this gives you (or them) the opportunity... makes sense to me :)

make tonight wonderful :)

softball sunday 2-22

yeah, right (no really, yeah, right)... once upon a time i'd have stayed up all night and wrote my hopes and dreams and the creative muses would have flourished in synaptic bliss brought on by hormonal surges and emo roller coaster, but the muscles demand more sleep so i nodded off and now, repeating... eliminate the excess sugar, fat, and other carb calories... realign the routine with optimal healthy feelings... realign the spine with the forces of nature and the spirit/hope of sentient sensuosity...

a fair workout at the gym last night and now... wake, shower, run out to softball... and enjoy the active day out in the sunshine... may you make your day all it can be :)

the precarious balance

it means so much to so many, on the surface and at infinite depths, and here i am again... i should sleep s i have softball practice most of the day from 9am to 7pm tomorrow... i should head to the gym because i feel inspire and seem to have the energy and made a promise to myself tonight to change my habits and prove i am doing that by stepping on the scale on may first and being under 200 pounds... i am also inspired to write for several reasons... ego is flattered and my emo is touched by the attantion at facebook after finally saying hello to some people there... psyche is challenged and emo is inspired by the events and conversation and interactions of the evening... and today is the birthday of one of the most precious people with the most amazingly beautiful heart i've ever known...

so what do i do... gym.

mon-daze

somehow there's no life on the monday softball team and i am as dead as everybody else... i don't warm up, i'm stiff and sloppy, and everything i do shows... so i grounded into a double play and was safe on an error on my two at bats and then my pitching was weak... i only walked two, but i was off the plate a lot and could not find corners... and i made two errors... the team we played hit well and we made at least two dozen errors total so the loss was huge and that's mon-daze...

too much softball on sundays and not enough sleep on sunday nights and no food all day monday and bleary eyed at the computer all day and then, worst of all, 830pm games on the sandbox field with the low lights that blind us... yup, that's why...

the other team will have to come up with their own excuses :}

where's my comforter :)