remember that 42 hour day?

i mean the one that i am been petitioning the universe for all these many years (with time being relative to the universe, it could be forever, or just about to happen)... as it still has not happened and the only way to squeeze all i want to do into the 24 hours currently allotted for each day is to reduce sleep, i am considering giving up television again so i can become more of a morning person so i can get to the gym before the sun rises and then sit here doing my writing browsing watching reading exploring thing while i drip dry after showering after returning from the gym and then still getting to work earlier than my 9-5 supposedly 40 hour week... since i havem't left the office before 8pm in the past two weeks and i've been working on the weekends and overnights, i see very little time left for anything else and i would like to keep in touch with people so i shall utilize facebook and text messages for communications cuz that maximizes the connections while minimizing time allotted to communications and we shall see how it goes... might even consider twitter...

i still want the 42 hour days though...

one more another day

and a fine and dandy good morning to all of you (and me too), though still sleep deprived i feel and the nose and head remains clogged (allergy, head cold, or fatigue-induced, we may never know... thogh it is much more challenging to wake reborn this way, chuckle... wow, i haven't chuckled in years, aye?)...

still, it (yes it, life, the universe, everything, 42, 58, 69, 98, 99, and all the rest) turns me on... i hope you make today wonderful :)

all you have to do

imagine if you will the moody blues singing remember me, my friend as we listen together within our minds... distance separates our bodies, but the music puts our minds in the same head space... can you be here with me?... all it takes is letting go of fear and opening yourself to your imagination and then, simply wanting to share... you can let me know, if you do, when you do... but if you do, then we are already there...

yeah, that's it... the secret to life, the universe, and everything... 42... the answer... and you can pretend you do not know and never knew and you can get away with that because that is the norm and the norm for the majority creates the illusion of truth accepted as truth by the majority and therein, by the culture of the time and you live in the culture of the time and you can find comfort in the conformity and sense of shared acceptance of the current truth no matter how wrong it might be because the sense of belonging to the majority overrides logic and rational thinking in most humans of the time...

are you there yet?...

narf :)

come a little bit closer (redux)

newly revised and updated (cuz there is a difference), this is still trying to be nonchalant in case you don't care so no feeling are hurt in the making of this entry... it's just an entry of links from the come a little bit closer section on the right sidebar all combined in one long paragraph form (for what it's worth or what it means)... fascinating, sometimes... and a fine test of your patience and interest level, no doubt (as are the links directly to the right, if you are paying attention and care - or want to)... the next level of secrets, of course... or perhaps, if you prefer... going for the record?... or whatever, it's the record of the life of sorts, after all... have fun, whatever you do :)

life ioi 42 delight this blog listening? anybody? writing time what i do here a few more words the habit of review for jackson and you the questions above unexpected promise you are appreciated hope i am almost giggly too desperate hello my friends this blogging life it's all about the kit precarious balance the folly of random genius who loves ya, baby? seriously, not really from another perspective too critical? (and links within) cuz i really want you to love me all about the moment before i check thousands finding me remembering home pauses miss you someday wisty wind (for the missing) i don't dream the way i used to the roller coaster ride (episode x) on our way to 4am a musical journey keeping in touch what i do poverty why the real? who knew? the surface deeper? icywtk baggage? vegging hard body all for you (narf) overtiredness sleepless nights because sometimes i feel truth or bullsugar people in real life history qualities if you can what i do is when i want more the most (e)thereal the hope of (e)thereal and then the dream ordinary excitement or don't (come closer) sensual compromise soundtrack of a life leave a message at the tone or check my calendar to find me a touch of me and my philosophy relativity (slice of life in the real) micro-managing the big picture not enough hours in the day blogs and other strangers the facebook life a touch of the real still on nature's course what personal ad? activity partner moving farther on for show (and tell) omigo privacy listening? stumbling when the last line is written

five new blogs

sometimes when we touch... i mean, five new blogs!... yes, in the last hour, less even, five new blogs were created... insanity is itching to burst from the brain... or maybe it's gas... in any case, i mark the moment (a bit early, no doubt) with this entry even as i pull back on the reigns and ... what?... did i mean reins?... dang kidneys, always interrupting... take it anyway you want to, all three if you like, and then some... anyway, none of the five have seen an entry yet... so the excitement is bubbling, but not quite as exciting as excitement can get if you know what i mean... nudge nudge wink wink oink oink blink blink eye on the prize, aye gov'ner?... i mean, how could you not know what i mean... nyuk nyuk narf and all... confounded conundrum, said the curmudgeon... who died and made us king, anyway?... or gov'ner, for that matter...

ah, finally a question mark... or two... was wondering what happened to those... what?... what?... what!... creativity can be amusing or obscure or even amusing or profound, or even amusing and strange, numbers are like that too, ya know?... especially when physics meets psychics... paradigm shift: you must click and read, you must click and read, click click click, you must click and read (subliminal message was brought you you by the letter me and the number 42... punctuation marks say the most interesting things... or is that monsters... paging bugs, paging bugs, yes, yet another facebook reference from the webbot... curmudgeons need not apply, but you are still welcome if you behave... do you really want to touch me there?...

alrighty then (sorta)

sleep is good for the body and mind, yet i do not give the body and mind i loosely (and only occasionally) call mine quite enough most of the time... i did what the body and mind would like me to do last night though... i fell asleep somewhere between six and eight, waking only a couple of times to drink, empty bladder, roll over, and then woke just before six and laid there until about six thirty when i got dressed and went out for a run (18:59.1 for the five laps which are about a half a 5k) and then showered without rushing, washing the hair twice and adding conditioner before washing the body so it set a bit before rinsing and then sat here typing a comment to a friend and bit of babble and soon i shall dress and head out to work... this is the way mornings would be every morning if the universe provided the 42 hour day i keep requesting... ah, but in this 24 hour day world, i would miss the evening and social life and creative play (already do after just one day)... so balance, precarious as it may be, is the only answer short of winning the lottery, getting financially lucky in some other way, or becoming a successful at the money-grabber game... as i do not enjoy or wish to play the latter and have not had the good fortune of the former two, i walk on through the wind and maintain, as well as i am able, some form of the precarious balance...

hope your day starts out smiling too :)

cold bones

not like northern cold, but 42 degrees at 9 pm is cold for central florida... make that 41 degrees... no wonder i started feeling a bit chilled with the patio door and windows open...

and what's this bones 200th episode as an old time (though colorized) film?...nick and nora charles?... no not quite... alas, it reveals that both bones and booth are not very good actors and appear locked into their roles... range is not showing in this one... amusing to see all of the characters visiting the story, but so far only one character is interesting change from the original characters... hodgens as the odd professor... i don't think they are even trying to create characters that fit the genre... when castle did a piece like this it was much better... i wonder if the actor who played sweets will make an appearance as a completely new character since it is almost a reunion cast... imdb... nope, he's not credited in the 200th episode... should have at least had a picture of him on the wall... where's the creativity?... after reading about the show, apparently it was meant to be the same characters just in different clothes and roles... would have rather seen real stretches in the acting by writing different characters...

42

yeah, so?... sometimes i wonder if there is the same profound optimism about the future of humanity in dr. who or even in the hitchhiker's guide to you-know-what as there is in star trek or is star trek just hopelessly naive about human nature as the most hopeful writers of the bible, or wikipedia, for that matter... who?... but seriously, are we a most promising species or are we merely mostly harmless but ultimately, worth saving in spite of general ambivalence (who may or may not be a character in the last novel ever written) or is it all, in the end, apophenia (or something like that, as if there is a question to be answered at all after all)... and meanwhile, after the fact and relatively off topic (hey, i'll be your friend in real life what life? because i know how irreverence keeps people at bay, or something like that... just friends, m'ok?) but still an interesting couple of couplings (perhaps for trivia lovers only with a slight smirk or maybe for those who find the word god so meaninglessly over-used that it instantly negates any interest or meaning in any article (or tweet, even) containing it) in the physical world many call the real world is Tom Baker married his companion Lalla Ward who later married Richard Dawkins (but that is certainly mostly beside the who) and some may call it humanism if the process ever works, maybe we're wrong, what? not irreverence, not again? (or maybe the ultimate question is... is everything shameless self-promotion?... maybe)... would you like to buy a vowel?... how about a number?...

almost resting right

yeah, almost... it would take a few weeks at least, maybe a few months to refocus and center myself after ten years in the madness again, though not as long as the last time i walked away from the rat race in 1990... the natural rhythm of this body is so different (as in nocturnal) from the norms of our society and living with a daytime person and a very daytime dog creates a very daytime space here, so the past week of vacation has been wonderful, but not free of sleep interruptions so fatigue remains... the intrusion of the work that requires my attention does not help as i am not completely free of responsibility for my day job even with a full week off... alas, i love to provide the guidance and the nurturing my work allows me to provide, but the self-time is so limited and broken, as i said, fatigue remains...

jackson has a nasty bit of a sore throat as well, which is this body's greatest vilnerability and i feel the big trying to get into my cells... socializing with friends at the parties of the season adds to the challenge of creating the me time, but then, i love the socializing as well... if only there were 42 hours in each day, there would be enough time for everything... hopefully the balance i create each day that has kept this body alive and the mind i inhabit smiling will continue to be maintained through my momentary decisions and someday my princess will come, as usual...

what is not understood is still present, and smiling, even if i am the only one who knows why... you are welcome to inquire or share as you please and i hope you do :)

another 5k experience

i did not know what to expect, but i put one foot in front of the other... the 5k was laid out over a course i ran hundreds of times, more even, because i lived right on that course for seven years or so... the course was to a point and then back and i started out thinking i might turn around before the halfway point when my friend came around (cuz she runs mid-twenty minute 5ks) and probably would have been fine with a 50 minute 5k but i trucked along jogging slowly then walking then jogging again... stamina was way down... sad how fast that goes away... the foot/ankle was holding up great so i decided to go all the way to the halway mark which mean i was gonna do the whole 5k... and i was able to jog slowly for the last tenth of a mile and was not dead at the end and no damage to the foot and yay... 42:53 time was ok considering, though there is a part of me still wondering why i let the sub 18 minute 5ks go... somewhere in my scribbles i use to keep track of run times and i remember a sub-16 minute 5k, alas, maybe faster... anyway, age, but even more, lack of daily conditioning does it...

enough lamenting, celebrate the continued progress on the rehab... yeah...

off to softball practice now...

anybody here?

yeah, i know, it's a hopefulness based on hope alone as i check to see if anybody stopped by any of my online spaces almost every time i return home, especially since starting this e-the-real blog where i stop in for brief updates and the waving the waterboys sang of all those years ago...

another game party with some of the funnest people in orlando and even though i was nodding off and so ready to sleep before i left, a little caffeine and sugar and i was playing and here we are, ten hours later, groggy but more awake than i was... friends and fun and the night...

maybe i'll get two hours sleep before morning practice and somehow i'll get some pants washed (or maybe i'll just stop and buy another pair of pants) for work this week, but after practice i'm hoping i don't stink too much so i can nap somewhere downtown before the party and the afternoon game so i might rejoin the party after the game (hoping i still don't stink too much) and somehow squeeze in getting the pants washed or bought and getting some sleep before starting another work week...

it's not like this is any sort of revelation (speaking of redundant thoughts), but there really are not enough hours in a day on this planet... i need to find a planet with 42 hour days, that is the answer, ya see :)

hope you are enjoying your sleep and your day is even more fun when you wake :)

happy birthday nic

life is like 200 motels

or was that 200 blogs?...

softball in about seven six hours, so maybe i'll get four hours sleep, sweet four hours, but if there was only 42 hours in a day i might get eight hours a day, maybe, and feel more refreshed and all..

maybe it's time to buy the netbook so i can tap the keys in more places, especially in bed...

wherever i might lay my head...

sex in the country

so this might be a bit weird... in the past week i've discovered two women scientists who are fascinated by animal sex... evolutionary biology and comparative anatomy are their fields... the canadian is more attractive to me, since they are interested in such, though being a human animal they may be less interested in my sexual habits and preferences... one has a tv show while the other, as i mentioned in a previous entry, has a couple or few web shows... finding two in a week might be a sign of something, but do we really want to know just what the sign might be saying?... koala sex is almost always 42 penis thrusts... ah, is that what douglas adam's master computer meant?...

ah, laughter in the rain... or country, for that matter... i really should get some sleep this weekend... maybe i will make my bed... so many messages beneath the surface, how can anyone know what is meant in all these words... are we feeling comfortable?... numb?...

narf?... lol lam... serious fun, no doubt :)

ok, sort of

that is... ok, back to the jog/walks, but not really ok cuz it has been too intermittent and passive... still, six laps today is better than no laps today, so ok, sort of... and the tracker software remains enigmatic, but the progress feels mostly like progress, albeit slow, extremely slow...

6 laps... 36:37 total time... 3.55 miles (for the same six laps, i know)... 5.8 mph (for the same 36:xx minutes, i know)... 10:20 average mile pace (yeah, i know, as unreliable as the rest)... max speed 9.8mph (this feels like it might be accurate as i did jog the first lap and picked up the jog a couple of times in other laps)... 557 kcalories... and now, on the the laps... 4:55, 7:02, 6:34, 6:36, 5:46, 5:40... and lap speeds (as unreliable as they are)... 5.9, 4.7, 5.9, 5.2, 6.4, 7.0... so somehow the speed for the fifth lap was much slower than the speed for the sixth lap when the times were virtually the same and the speed for the first lap when the time was dramatically faster was slower than either the fifth or the sixth... right... alas, i wish the numbers were accurate cuz, as you know, i love numbers... and stats... mile times were 11:25, 10:29, 10:12, and 4:35 for the final .55 mile (remembering last time we just reached 3.07 miles for the same six laps)... meanwhile, the discrepancy in distance shows the flaw in this software... for each lap: .49, .54, .65, .58, .61, .67... so how does this software measure the same lap with such drastic inaccuracy?... i am sure the manufacturer would have some pseudo-scientific response, but as they say on sports center, come on man...

and last time we recorded 5.2mph yet completed the 6 laps in 35:37 while today we recorded 5.8mph completing the same 6 laps in a full minute slower time... cha cha cha... i do see, looking at the map, one flaw that appears to be causing the discrepancies in distance and that is the tracker seems to be over-reading (for lack of a better term) one or two step variations along the same path and adding considerable distance to the lap distance because of that... the path track has me crossing streets and going through buildings (impossible) way off the path i walk/jog on some laps so the gps sensitivity and accuracy is way off... i suppose this sort of tracker might be more helpful on a trail run, but it shows serious flaws and inaccuracies on a lap run which would lead me to question the accuracy of distance (and all other stats except the actual time) of any run tracked with this software... unfortunately the other software i've tried is no different and shows the same gps variations, flaws, and inaccuracies... so we live with what we've got and the bottom line is the lap times and the overall time and the physical assessment by my own senses and feeling is what matters when comparing progress...

kilometers, aye?... 5.72 km... 9l3 km/h... 6:25 mim/km... 15.7 max km/h... and the laps... 9.6, 7.6, 9.4, 8.4, 10.2, 11.2... and per km... 6:34, 6:42, 7:04, 6:45, 5:58 and 3.37 for the final .72 km... the distance per lap discrepancy, as expected, is similar to miles... .79, .89, 1.04, .93, .98, and 1.09... baffling...

still, it turns me on to know and feel that i've gone out and done this once again... not dead yet...

the real?

well, as much as this is the daily record of the daily events of the daily life as i live it, there is also some deeper ponderings popping up now and then and while those sort of introspective self-analysis type of ponderings would usually appear behind the candoor (and before then, candora or on downbeats, the lands of the mostly dead, just like when there wasn't time to go behind the candoor and the deeper inverted (or is that introverted?... can one be an introverted exhibitionist?... i suppose youtube is full of them, and tv, for that matter… maybe we’ve discovered the definition of celebrity… anyway… what were we saying?) thinking appeared in RealTime™ when there wasn’t time to go behind the candoor (was the repetition planned for emphasis?... oh, would that be telling, not to be confused with the telling, or the telling that sang guardian angel and other beautiful ethereal songs... but there are so many others), so even here amidst (e)thereal, beware the emo!...

yes, ok, i confess, i am emo in (e)thereal world…

and we wonder why i am still alone in this world, aye?... but the fact is that most of these entries are not out there in front long enough to be noticed or read unless you are checking in here several times a day or simply keep (e)thereal open in a tab in your browser all the time and refresh several times a day (and if you did that, oh, the places we could go... from seuss to noose and 'round again as the previous entry and those before, especially this week, expose the emotion {and touch on history} all the more... it is our experience, all we've ever been, done, or known, that brings us to who and where we are today, after all... the choice is acknowledging and embracing it all {and our self} or ignoring and losing it and pieces of self... i'll continue to strive for keeping in touch with all and therein keeping myself whole... because i care because caring is better than the alternatives... and trying to share because sharing is the best i can do in and with this life and you... which is why i am here)…

and we wonder why i am still alone in this world, aye?... yeah, so anyway, i would stay awake, just to watch you breathing cuz i really don’t want to miss a thing… who else loves that way?... that much?... that constantly?... that completely?... that ad infinitum?... 42?...

yeah, even the babble is (e)thereal from time to time because i am nocturnal… no matter how much i resist… and i want to love all night long (everybody, but you know, all i ever needed was the one)…

be beautiful tonight :)

loving the fun

could have been better, yes... like i could be in love and have the perfect partner to share everything in life... or more to the immediate activities, i could be pitching for one of the other teams and actually have a good chance of winning championships and tournaments (two teams asked me to be their pitcher for next season already, but loyalty is important too)... or i could have better eating habits, for that matter (and not so easily laugh off the fact that i don't... though i eat a heck of a lot of veggies and salads and healthy food and have better eating habits than most americans, it is relative as is everything and i definitely eat too much of everything in one sitting cuz i love food, which is the whole oral stimulus thing that brings us back around to the physical aspect of being in love (though the emotional and mental sharing is still more important for me, say 42, 32, 26, if we attempt quantification of importance, for the moment at least, and perfect partner thought which ia par for the course after such a long day of physical play and night social life play)... but hey, it can always be better... bottom line serious now, fun was had by all, i think, definitely by me...

back from the party, you expected less of a ramble? :)

old becomes new again

there was a time when i had more time to write and the free-associative flow of words i call babble was a daily experience of catharsis and amusement and exploration and distraction and learning and creative play and focus, a kind of all-pirpose meditative trance would flow between the ethers of collective consciousness and multiversal existence and the brain in the head of this body where i find myself now and then and the fingers would tap keys (or once upon a time, use pend and paper, imagine that) with no apparent rhyme or reason and so often, rhyme or reason flowed from wherever it might have come... those days are not these days as work consumed way too much daily time to flow off into those ethers for the days and weeks required for fully meditative obliviousness, but last night i did remember a bit of the feeling over at diaryland where, years ago, i babbled behind the candoor, a writing place long sleeping (like so many others, nyuk nyuk...

but who has time for babble today (or even back then, there were so few who even tried to keep mup with thousands of words a day)... luckily i've finally forced myself to discipline myself enough to learn to be brief (if that is what you call this) and created this (e)thereal place where you, dear readers and others stumbling in, can keep up with my life and antics on a daily basis without wasting too much of your precious time...

perhaps it is just a matter of time management, the art of squeezing a 42 hour day into 24 quality hours without loosing too much sleep over it... if you are even half as amused as i am, wonderful... see you later cuz now, i return to packing and mainlining caffiene :)

futbol party

just three of us, jackson, her new friend, and me watching the usa women kick the ball around the japan team and win going away... for my memory, japan scored one goal on one play when an otherwise stellar us defense broke down and then the us gave japan one goal when a defensive header bounced into the us goal... the us team won 5-2 and set all sorts of records, most goals in a championship match, fastest goal (3 min) fastest two goals (5 min) fasted 3 goals (14 min) and fasted 4 goals (16 min)... carly lloyd had the first hat trick (three goals) in a championship games... there were other records as well, but it was total domination from the first few minutes... a little help from field position as the japan goalie had to face the sun in the first half and the sun was mostly down when the us had to take that goal in the second half... japan's only goal in the second half was off the us defender's head... so it was a good party all around and the pizza was excellent... two pies for $42 (including delivery charge and tip), it had better had been excellent...

work interrupted several times with problems i solved, but otherwise it was a fun party and a bit of rare social time... in case you wondered...

narf :)

wtf now

you see?... you see?... this strange posting pattern produces poor page views... that's right, you completely missed this and completely missed this and almost completely missed this and even this entry will probably not lead most of you back to view them, but hey, here's your and chance (excuse me, amy mainzer is talking... listening... listening... listening... watching too... ok, we're back)...

meanwhile, in the life of now, wonderfulness of friends and fun outdoors was experienced tonight as we (jackson, sanford, kotter, and me) went to the ucf game and it was a beautiful night and ucf won big (42-17 and the game was not as close as the score) and we had much fun and i got to catch up a bit with precious cuz she works at the ucf arena (or at least for the concessions company that has he arena contract) and had a yummy hot dog and all in all, happy hugs and happy fun with friends...

wish you were there :)

sleep is sweet

if only my request for 42 hour days was granted by the universe, there would be enough time for the sweetness of sleep every day... sleep is good and necessary for optimal human survival as far as i can tell, but sleep becomes sweet when it extends beyond that which is absolutely necessary for adequate functioning... that only happens, for me at least, on some weekends and the occasional (rare, actually) weekday mostly because i am nocturnal and there are simply not enough hours in the 24 hour day to do all i want to do and still sleep ten or more hours... usually four to six hours is adequate and all i squeeze in... sometimes less... used to be i'd skip sleep a couple of times a week, but the body does not like that deal anymore, alas, life longevity does take it's toll on the physical being...

all that to say i just woke and with smiley blurry eyes, almost feel the sweetness of sleep for the first time in many weeks or longer, almost because it has been so long that i barely remember... but memory fogginess and blurry eyes aside, good morning :)

i hope you enjoy a sweet day too :)