waking sleeping

if memory serves accurately during sleep with scattered waking, i woke around 4am-ish and wandered into bed which provided a 2 hour sleep cycle and then woke at 9am-ish (right about the time of this entry, no doubt... what a couincidence, aye?) feeling the arm and took a potty break and it may have been jackson in the kitchen that nudged me out of sleep but i was obvious at the end of a 4 hour cycle when i am most easily aroused (from sleep too) and then i woke later kind of in between a 2 and 4 hour cycle which explains the grogginess to come...

anyway, i prepared many entries for tomorrow (that i might return to link here once they are uploaded, or published, even) as tomorrow is the big day and the excitement is just too much to bear without babbling on about it (what sarcasm?)...

good morning anyway, back to sleep for me :)

up all night again

not erect, awake, though we don't ignore erections around here... not masturbating all night though, just enough to keep from being erect all night... don't want any priapism problems, eh pappy?... the mind isn't the only body part that is a terrible thing to waste, after all... can you feel the music of the night?...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

must have been a lullaby cuz i nodded off...

sleep is good

oh yeah (with a deep and resounding reverberating smile ya know?)... the body feels uber super wonderful (though the arm aches a bit, healing continues) after all that walking and bouncing and fun yesterday and they is partly cuz i ate healthier yesterday and partly cuz of all the exercise yesterday, but mostly cuz i slept... sleep is good for the body... soooo good...

and the head is smiling too cuz with so much sleep, there is a happy grogginess now... the deep-sleep-drugs are still alive and kicking... i will wake in a bit and maybe then i will catch up on thoughts that transcended through the brain while i slept (perhaps even dreams, aye?)...

hope today is sparkly :)

whatever hair day

a bit of extra sleep, yet did not take the shower i wanted to take... clean, because i took a shower four hours ago, but wanted to shower the head again because the had is flat and straight after sleeping on it and i wanted it to not be pressed down today... so i won't be a cover model lol, but i did want it not flat...

and i did want to be wide awake showered refreshed, but sleep was good... silly person, there is just not enough time to do everything and still sleep...

narf :}

morning came so quickly

and i push the snooze and i push the snooze again and i push it again... sleep, superficially, but a few more minutes... a very long day of walking and fun ahead, but sleep, sleep just a little bit more...

broken record, aye?..

yeah, what (must be again)

the yeah, what? title (with and without the question marks) has been the title of a blog (or journal or diary entry) before, certainly, along with it's sibling, yeah, whatever and cousins yeah, so? and yeah, right (ditto about the question marks)... and this entry was opened last night to be nothing as i must have fallen asleep, so that's the real...

miss you too :)

fruitful awakening

though sleep could have easily lasted longer if the phone did not ring, i find myself spouting out purposeful babble and random nonsense this morning at many unknown locals in the new web world (so designated by the demise of the written gardens at the hands of the dastardly att folk, who suck, by the way)... busy day of three softball games tomorrow, so relax today... maybe some laundry and unpacking?... perhaps... fresh air (no times square)...

make this a wonderful weekend...

yay (mostly)

i finally found my way to the bed when i woke from my name around midnight last night... and so the sleep was about four hours from eightish to midnightish and then from then till a little bit ago (don't you just love the clarity i provide to time?... like swiss precision watches, with the ish factor) and i showered and shampooed and conditioned and rinsed and even repeated! (as opposed to jump under the water and rushed through the process) and now i am on time for my early meeting with the lawyers from miami with some breathing room, so yay...

the mostly part is that there was almost no exploring of facebook and other online stuff last night, which is the same as about 350 days out of the 365 days last year, but the past three nights i was up most of the night exploring and i realized i still enjoy that (it's been years, but i used to wander around the web a lot for hours on end, after all, have you never visted my myspace?... i just don't have time to read comments and communicate the way i used to (there are about a thousand unread messages there in my mailbox), no less browse as i did when i was babbling behind the candoor or before or before that even), alas, i miss it but life offline is way too busy to be spending hours a day online...

it was nice to stay up three nights in a row and feel the thrill of exploring again and sure enough, i found some people i had been searching for every time i did an extended web browsing searching wandering and one actually responded, though i am not she if i am remembered yet... spooky to wander through ancient memories like that and yet, so very deep-sigh-high too... so yay (mostly) cuz balance is good, but more time would be even better :)

can i go home now? :)

phew, that was close

the babble almost came and took over e-the-real and thereal could have slipped into and become and gone the way of RealTime and behind the candoor and so many other noble attempts to share in a more normal and therein acceptable and therein theoretically more successful (at least potentially based on the laws of probability and such) in the goal of sharing, which babbling tends to undermine...

i know, here i am again just two minutes later (less, actually, shhhhh) babbling, but catching it none the less and heading off into the other babble places after stopping by here briefly to warn you about the previous few entries where babble almost too over...

must have been a really good new year, aye? :)

hope yours was/is great too :)

sleep is good

waking to find my mind playing poker and waiting for a moron who is cheating to present his queens up full house which he and other morons at the table expect to beat my four tens after another player went all in, forcing almost everyone else to go all in as well... i wonder what happened when he finally revealed his hand and started swooping on the pot when i corrected him and others and showed them the rules of the game they were playing (4-of-a-kind beats a full house)... they'd probably want to fight, which is why i rarely play cards or any game for money with strangers...

must be leftover thoughts from falling asleep watching the macho morons of florida wipe the field with the uncoached hapless cincy team... the intimidation factor always goes too far with some teams and florida is one as their secondary was allowed play after play of interference, their defence was allowed play after play of late hits and helmet to helmet hits, and their offense was allowed play after play of holding with hardly any penalties called... they are a suberbly trained and coached team, but every game i watch they get away with more than other teams, which is par for the course in every sport for the top atheletes... which is wrong, but part of the real american way...

here, i'll let me social conscience rant a moment... it goes beyond "it isn't cheating or a crime unless you are caught" and "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing"... in the real, it isn't cheating unless you are called for it... moreover, it isn't a crime unless you are convicted of it... you can be seen doing it and even caught and arrested, but if the other card plays ignore the rules, you didn't cheat... or in football, if the refs don't see or ignore what you are doing, you didn't commit a penalty... even in legal crime, you are presumed innocent, remember?... except in the media and the minds of the masses (lynch mobs) who love to convict without a trial... the layers of hypocrisy in otherwise excellent ideas can astound or even blow an open mind... luckily there are so few, so very little astounding (or blowing) goes on... at least not of minds...

yeah, sleep is good... hope you enjoy yours too :)

after a nap

of almost exactly 4 hours (i wonder if am i the only one with such a precise internal clock or if it is an abnormality of my mind... another explanation for my aloneness, if i was looking for one) and i flip on the tv to listen to and glance up at football games (but find that the news is blaring the usual stories about people who died or got hurt or did other stupid things last night and worse, the top news story is the fox-bright house war... what a culture)...

hope you are healthy, happy, and enjoying the heck out of everything :)

too much sleep is not enough

twelve hours sleep... and i wake blurry as can be, puffy eyes, out of focus, full of mucous, gonna drink caffiene (hot tea) as soon as i get to work for the first time in months... i woke several times during the night cuz i seldom sleep more than four hours without waking cuz i sleep in four hour cycles and i rise back to the semi-conscious level of sleep every four hours... always been that way... if i wake during a rem phase, i am a blurry zombie even if i slept twelve hours (oh, that's what happened, aye?)... thing is, by this evening i'll be waking and tonight i'll be up all night cuz i got twelve hours sleep... the strange rem sleep cycle of this brain-body baffles scientists, but it works for me...

it just doesn't for for this life where work is expected five days a week and there are only twenty four hours in a day... yes, i said what i said and i meant what i said, an elephant's faithful, or forgetful, or something like that...

oh well, off to work i go, hi ho...

really?

well, the intention was to sleep until i woke naturally, but the phone rang a half dozen times already this morning and hile i rolled over and ignored most (after glancing at the phone for the number), the last one was work and as i am on-call this weekend, and i almost did not have to go in, but i will go in later as the admissions to the children's psychiatric hospitals do not take a break for xmas this year... the nurse was going to do the assessment for me, but a few issues popped up and she probably won't have time, but it was sweet of her to offer and give it a try...

so awake and will head to work later, but for now, continued vegging is all that i intend to do... dear friends will be watching it's a wonderful life and then wandering the city of celebration, florida to see the festivities and lights and stuff (they have snow) and then playing games and having fun and i am contemplating heading down there (at least forty minutes away), but for the moment, no intentions beyond vegging...

it is a wonderful life :)

another late work day

it never has to end, the work day, and i must remember that as i start expanding a spreadsheet database late in the afternoon because the hours pass quickly when waiting for crap ms software (excel 2007 freezes so often it's sick, and i don't mean a good sick) and wanting to finish the next stage of the build... anyway, home again...

eat, sleep, wisdom may previal tonight :)

give in, please

sleep, yes, sleep has become the obsession of the subconscious (and just about every cell in the physical body)... it is only the conscious mind that that loves to play so much that it simply shrugs off sleep and continues continues continues doing whatever it is i am doing whether i am out with people and hoping someone stays awake with me or after i get home and let the web and words and whatever slip through my mind and dance without reason and play without meaning and even glance up at the tv when the music isn't playing and lost in the sleep deprived psychosis is the depth and dream and whetever else was me, once upon a time...

so i slept tonight :)

long week, but got some sleep

as you will know already (how's that for playing with tenses?... wait, i'm not done) if you read the previous posts that have yet to be written (O-O, what a word geek, aye?), on monday night i pulled a hamstring tagging up from second to third on a short fly ball to center and then limped home from third with the tying run in the bottom of the seventh on the next batter's hit... we won the game and tonight, the team played without me and won the first game of the playoffs... next thursday is the rest of the playoffs and i will see how the leg feels, but i definitely will take a pinch runner if i play and make it to first base...

in other news, precious totalled her second car for the year last night and i was sleeping... she's ok, though spent some hows in the hospital getting checked out... the worst bruising came from the seat belt... i thought she had an airbagm but i never rode in the second car so i suppose not... the first accident she was hit from behind while at a red light... this time she couldn't stop in time when someone stopped short in front of her... the SUV had a damaged bumper, her car received a totalled front end... the benefit of driving a gas guzzler, i suppose...

i am taking tomorrow off, mostly, to take care of business, so i should sleep some tonight, but at least i did sleep more than ten hours the past two nights, which is wonderful (says the body and mind) and also why i haven't been here... so to all the silent millions of fans out there who love me and miss me (and the few who actually leave a few words now and then), all is well in the real and while all could be better, i've got fewere complaints every day (mostly cuz i'm a day closer to dead and understand the logic and wisdom of not wasting time or energy on worry or stressing over the small stuff, but there may also be some greater depth and stability to the balance and peace within the psyche, yeah, it's not just apathy and ambivalence, nyuk)...

much more to come in previous entries here, there (which may be real time, behind the candoor, or even bullsugar, but wait, there are even newer blogs budding out there if you're clever enough to track them down... shhhh, it's our little secret until the tabloids get a hold of the photos and text messages and twitters and pull a tiger woods on us), and other places... life is good and amusing, as usual... and just think of what getting a lot of sleep might do to the profundity and candor of the babble, aye?...

narf :)

morning rush

sort of... i skipped the shower to check some mail and stuff after the deepest (and longest) sleep in weeks, many weeks, at least... wonderful feeling, getting about halfway to that wonderful awakeness i know as conscious awareness when this body is fully rested... if only this was a day off, i'd have sleeped the deepest longest sleep and maybe even caught up... it's been so long since i caught up... maybe tomorrow...

for now, it's off to work i go...

actually sleeping

yes, i was actually sleeping at this moment when this moment was this moment, but still it was a bent evening as the call came that the game was rained out just as i was getting out the door (after dressing and putting all the gear on and all that), which saved me a drive, but still was frustrating because it means this season is going to extend into the work softball league season which means i'll have to miss a game or more of one or the other league... it rains more on thursdays than on any other day of the week...

so i took off all the softball stuff and sat back and nodded off and woke somewhere around this time (this moment, when this moment was this moment, ya know) evening to head to bed... wish you were here, or somebody was, cuz nurturing would have been wonderful at this moment when this moment was this moment...

nite nite :)

clearing the blur

i woke just after 2am to empty the bladder and drink some more water and then again just a few moments ago and for the first few minutes i sat here blinking away the morning blur...

now that my eyes can focus again, it looks like a beautiful morning... i considered leaving a brief note here at 2am, but did not want to wake up that much, i mean, even though i do want to keep in touch as much as possible (which is why i keep coming back to leave these brief snips of the life and times of me as i experience the life and times of me)...

i signed up for hulu last night (here's the wiki story), though i didn't actual download or view or do anything there yet... at my aircard speed, it may not be an easy site to use without a whole lot of patience and time, the latter being in short commodity these days, which shortens the former... but it does seem like an interesting concept, watch your favorite tv shows when you want to watch them... one day, perhaps i'll find the time... and someone to watch with (cuz tv is more fun for me when there is someone to watch with)... meanwhile, my name was already taken, so i did the usual and used candoor...

i hope you enjoyed your night and make today a big smile :)

sprint to sleep

yes, well, shocking as it may seem, all that sprinting and protein has inspired me to actually go to sleep, like, now... amazing, no doubt, given the time and the fact that i've already nodded off in this chair... so curl up or lay flat and cuddle with someone comfortable if you can (and want to) and see you in the morning...

nite nite :)