keeping in touch

yup, that's what it's all about (and a little hokey pokey too, as only harry can deliver, but just a little... short stories)... just to keep in touch (more than ten years online... wanna see?... just follow the carefully random {or is that randomly careful?... probably} linkages), to believe it's worth it, i'm worth it, you're worth it, we're worth it... and the sharing gives us value... and the caring fills our hearts... and the wanting to be nearer that can tear a soul apart... and the hope that someone's out there... feeling the same way... and somehow we'll come together... to start a whole new world for a moment that will last... forever and a day... keeping in touch... all day... every day... all night... now... forever and a day...

true as it gets, as much as i love the (e)thereal sharing of words on and off the internet, that (above paragraph) is "thereal" i seek, the moment to moment bond that everyone i've known so far calls too intense, too much work, or just downright too much... too smothering because they are afraid to breathe into another and become part of them... too confining because they are not secure within their own skin and need space to run from themselves now and then... too whatever, because whatever...

home from another softball game, another win, another fun night with relative strangers... some shared beers and nachos and chili cheese fries afterward at the local T & A wing bar and i am almost human (he would be proud) and yet, here i sit alone because, for better or worse, i am me... and the space between is the difference between neediness and desire, between loneliness and hunger, between curiosity and thirst... this night was fun...

and still, an emptiness lingers... waiting for someone who can fill it... someone who can keep in touch, someone who can keep up, someone who can be with me...