cuz i wasn't here, sorta

i slip this in here cuz i wasn't here yesterday, even though i was home and unpacking and babbling on elsewhere on the web, i was not here... and i woke with a scratchy throat cuz a prep-h thing or something was scratched open by a hard lump of turd and when poop gets in the bloodstream i usually get a cold and it happens now and then, not for a while though, more than a year, so anyway, the cold bug wash washed out of the throat by antiseptic mouthwash and is now residing in the sinuses giving me that exploding head (and eyes) pounding feeling that hurts and distracts all the good moods...

and then there's a message from minnie about having to get serious help for her niece for whom she has guardianship... i spoke with her tomorrow and out of respect for privacy i won't share more, but i hope they will find a way through and while at the moment the exploding head wants no part of the rush of emotions and deep thinking, i'll help if i can...

and then there is a promise i made and still want to keep (among so many promises beyond my control) to yet another adopted child and that weighs on my head tonight as well... i hate to have to face that i am just another human proving words and promises and caring is all full of shit to a child as it was proven to me and it sucked... alas... alone...

there really is not enough room in my head tonight...