sheesh, another whataweek

and still more work to do and jackson said i'd be up doing it at 3am and she appears to be close as i am waking from a very brief nap and typing with the work laptop right next to me ready to play with some numbers and reports... responsibility is madness at times...

left work at noon after three hours of meetings (two hours of trainings i did in spite of the passive aggressive negativity from a couple of directors) cuz jackson's car exploded (ok, the water pump belt snapped and the pump, thermostat, and hoses needed replacing) and happiness was at the vet at the time, so i picked her and happiness up and drove her around taking care of errands and then we picked up her car and stopped at work to pick up my laptop so i can get some work done this weekend and then came home and took a walk and watched tv and browsed online and ate food and that's today...

i spent a couple of hours nodding off while trying to browse plentyoffish (wanna see my profile or chemistry test results or relationship needs assessment?) and came away emailing one person (and then looked at hundreds more profiles and was not inspired to email any others)...

tmi? :)

life goes on, within you and without you, cha know? :)

slight addiction

yes, as i mentioned in my newly templated bullsugar (whatever that is), i am slightly addicted to my current entry in my video me blog cuz it's fun and i miss fun so very much (among other things)... waking ealier than intended but charged with more energy than usual and every kind of desire to share (and some are undulged much more than others, so balance, dangit! (with and without exclamation points) and i sense a rush of missing babble flooding my inner sanctums)...

games, babbles, lusts, intimacies, exercise, more more more!...

yes, i work too much... wanna save me? :)

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm theirs

yes, while i do have 30 days to change my mind, i signed the lease for the new place and gave them all the money to get the keys and take possession of the apartment and i am 98% thrilled and happy...

five things i did not know cuz i was not able to see the apartment are... the microwave is too small, the layout of the apartment gives a smaller feel than other layouts, the patio seems slightly smaller, the air-conditioning units for several apartments are right outside the living room windows (and we're on the first floor), and i think the bedrooms are more directly off the living spaces (less privacy) than the other apartments... not deal breakers, but different than the other places we liked...

a few things we did know that are not ideal, but acceptible, are... the screened patio does not exit to the outside, the kitchen has a single sink, the carpet is more outdoorsy than indoorsy, the bathroom lights don't turn on (a sign of poor maintenance inspections?)

the big YAYs! for me are the rest of the apartment, first floor with a nature walk right off the breezeway, bigger kitchen, bathroom, closets... separate switches for the bathroom lights and the dang annoying loud vent fan (can you tell that was a deal breaker?), flourescent kitchen lighting instead of track lighting (to be able to see in the kitchen, sweet), and everything else...

hopefully jackson will like it when she sees it too (she's not moving in until May, so we can think about changing in the next 30 days)... and now it's time to take this packing gig seriously and then the cleaning deal and then, moving on monday... nobody right here to share the fun and excitement (and chores), but still, the excitement is bubbling over now that i actually signed and have the keys so bouncy bouncy off to pack and clean :)

being on-call

well, another child arrives and it is time to head into work... after a shower... so i do head out before tomorrow, but not for the social fun... and while i am gone, you can watch some stuff viewed today about the work i do

just cuz i want to

share, that is... that's why i want to put words on the web every day in any way i can and in spite of the manic business and fullness of life these days where i hardly have a moment and rarely have a day to just sit and relax for more than a moment (or even a moment) no less sit back and ponder with the laptop on my lap (and it's been years since i had a comfortable chair and desktop set up, no less the big bed with the laptop laying prone as i used to write by hand for so many years) but i steal a moment or few randomly out of days rushing by filled with work, softball, and the weekly social activity like game nights or shows or concerts (rarer are dinners out this year as i've consciously avoided food sharing in order to drop weight, which takes a bit of time, and reset the set weight in the brain, which can take much longer) so i can record a few thoughts that keep me in touch with myself and the hope that somehow, some way, someday, somewhere, we will share again...

just cuz i want to, ya know...

somehow lost my way

if i ever had one... yeah, narf, giggle, and all that cartoony jazz... but in the real, i have wandered off into a foggy out-of-touchness that can only be described as a foggy out-of-touchness, or, in other words, an elsewhere less fun than most... it is mostly because i am so busy at work that i do not have time to think about much else and there's so much more important stuff in my head than work and even if there wasn't wall work and no play kills...

i don't want to die just yet, so i must remember stuff like celebrating john lennon's birthday and other more closer to my own real life stuff like how long have i been sleeping alone and how long has it been since i kissed someone and how long has it been since i simply took a week or a few days or even a day off just to relax and enjoy life and time without a clock or a thought about what must be done right now or in a few hours...

i need a few mental health day... or a few dozen, even...

spin around

working an extra couple of hours because the kids need it and now stopping by to change before heading out to softball... surprises in the mail, if only there was more time, there's a huge backlog of inspiration for the babbler from new york to toronto to cali to oz to left field and... right back around to here...

time to go back out into the world now, hope you are enjoying life too :)

work and play

ridiculousness was the dish served up at the department director's meeting today as i announced the deadlines that the administrative assistant wanted and nobody spoke up to say they were impossible (which they are, which is why no one has gotten their work in on time in years)... the ceo doesn't seem to know the process and he lets his admin assistant call the shots and i've been ignoring her for the year and a half i've been in the position, but he finally told me to follow her deadlines so i passed it along to the rest of the directors... we shall see if the follow through is any better this month than in the past few dozen months...

i did finally get my shelf built after asking for it for over a year... when the ceo told me to straighten up my office i asked him if he'd expedite the things i requested so that i could organize the office better and he finally stopped telling the maintenance people not to do it (doh, huh?)... so much undermining going on, it's amazing, but it allows me to wait until i am given a direct instruction to do something and then the obstacle that has been preventing me from doing it can be removed... inch by inch, we might have an organization yet...

meanwhile, after work, we won 18-1, so the thursday team is 2-0 (we could have scored another half dozen runs, at least, and the last inning we got a little sloppy and gave up a run after we switched me out from pitcher to second base to let the other pitcher pitch)... and dinner afterwards at the wing house and here we are... so how was your day? (if you remember when you get here... i mean, just look at all the sharings we missed, sigh, so much to catch up on... well,it'll all be here when you get here... hopefully i will too, aye? :)

have fun out there :)

in the pause

and because the dream of sharing (hopelessly hopeful romantic that i am) never ends and barely pauses and never forgets (like horton) and requires commitment and actions, i continue this habit of reaching for the keyboard in the few moments while dinner is cooking or while drying after a shower or while just sitting between activities for a few moments, as i just returned from work and have a bit of time before heading out form softball...

if you do not understand, that's ok, it is a certain form of madness to be so dedicated to a dream, quixotic suspense, perplexing or laughable, folish or noble, it all depends on your perspective... from my perspective, with no better dream to dream and no better way to maintain the readiness (and nothing much better to do in these few moments), i continue to stop by here to remind myself and anyone who cares that i care and want to share (and know how) and i feel how precious the momenta are, in the pause...

may you feel your moments pass and fill them with something you love :)

four baker acts

as if the weekend wasn't busy enough, another BA52 arrived while i was doing the first three assessments and so i just finished and will be heading from the ucf side of town (where i live and work) to mt. dora (you can google the trip if you just love me so much you want to know everything or simply have the time and are curious) for the lucky charms (thursday night softball, not work team) party and i probably will not be home until sunday night...

but so much must be done before the trip to tennessee... laundry, dishes, cleanup, clean out the car, an hour or two at work in the morning, and something called rest too... and i still need to make reservations for a place to stay and transportation in franklin... must prioritize as not all of it is getting done... now i need time to prioritize... ah, if only there was someone here to share this manic paced wonderful life, the laughter would be exponentially multiplied...

enjoy your life too (even if you don't have time to notice :)

off to work again

an busy on-call weekend must be squeezed in between parties, so brief good morning and hope you are having fun too... keeping it touch, you know, that is why...

flying by

rushing through the day (sorta), rushing out of work, rushing to the big game night, pant, pant, fun fun, hope you're funning too :)

swirling synapses

morning, good?... hope it is for you,m it will be for me as soon as i wake up and start the day cuz excitement about the softball playoffs tonight has been buzzing around and keeping me semi-awake... all night long, ya ya...

i must explore bmop dot exe more because it is in the att folder and is constantly demanding access to the eb in what my virus program calls a suspicious manner and yet, it appears to be part of the att package that checks optimization of proxy stuff so i am allowing it to continue cuz the only reason i am aware of it is i set the virus program to a higher level of warnings...

new laptop soon... make today wonderful... see ya when you get here :)

no day of rest

which only goes to prove i am not god, contrary to what some may think (well, maybe not only, but i'll just pretend today is my day off and day of rest and all as i relax at the diwg meeting downtown)... florida does not consider mlk day a holiday for the state, which is wrong as i was going to take today off, but i will go find out what changes the government planners have for data collecting for 2009 instead...

nice and woozy this morning as the body recovers and rebuilds and the mind requests more shut-down time... it is very much like being drunk and even more like being stoned on some strong substance, qualudes or codeine or morphine, perhaps, as everything slows and feels kind of numb... demerol, maybe... too bad nobody's around to share it (i never was much for drinking alone cuz sharing altered consciousnesses is much more fun)... i'll enjoy it anyway cuz i do...

however you feel inside, make your day wonderful too :)

so much for sleeping in

yeah, awake again and heading to work cuz i am such a conscientious professional, la dee dahhh... there's simply too much to do to continue taking days off as long as i don't have a computer to do the work at home... so hi ho, hi ho...

i intend to leave early, like noon-ish early, if all goes well and there are no new issues to investigate or fires to put out... and maybe nap as there's softball practice tonight and the tournament all day tomorrow and sunday (the team responded poorly to day-before game practices last time, hopefully they will get sleep and be ready to play the whole tourney this time)... cuz we all care, we just learn to care less as we rush from thing to thing and do not have time to invest our whole heart/soul selves into each (though behind the candoor and a few other places saw words and stuff uploaded last night, for those who choose to)... silly modern world...

and how is your busy life?...

what night?

well, almost two hours ago i got home thinking that i got out of work early (for me) and maybe i can eat and digest and get to the gym and still get some sleep, but little did i know rasputin was not hearing his computer since the seventeen hour marathon repair and reformmating i did ages ago (it's mentioned somewhere in these entries... or those)... so we walked through a dozenty seven different steps on the phone and finally i thought, hmmmm, maybe dell makes their sound driver proprietary and that's why windows can't find it... sure enough, we found the driver on the dell site and now, raspy can hear his computer again... he isn't going deaf after all...

my soup, meanwhile, waited in the microwave for the whole conversation... so the shrimp kinda shrunk more than intended, but it's still a pretty good smoked lobster bisque with shrimp and onions soup cuz i like it... i think the secret ingredients, spaghettios, parm and romano cheese, ketchup, and french fried onions might have done the trick... mmmmmm, lobster bisque... why you looking at me funny?...

and now, belly full and less frustrated about deciding to go into work in the morning (and monday morning) instead of taking the days off completely as planned cuz there's stuff nobody else will do that really needs to get done... i'll just get paid for the days and leave early then... and harp on getting the laptop even more... nyuk...

so that's my day and evening and how about you? (i ask because i care and i'll just keep asking cuz the day i forget will probably be the day you respond... narf :}

let's just pretend

what?... in thereal?... well, it's a thereal game, go with it... so ok, let's just pretend for a moment that every single human who ever lived was suddenly right here reading thereal, glancing through the archives, seeing the many entries, all that...

so hello everyone :)

now, how many of you look at all these entries without interaction and feel sad and consider this pathetic?... let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . nine hundred ninety seven billion and one… 997,000,000,002, 997,000,000,003… ok, thanks for playing, you can all go now…

the rest of you, yay for optimism :)

work work work was what today was all about (oh yeah, pretend is over)... got home a few minutes ago and cooking dinner... maybe the gym to catch a bit of the bcs bowl game and burn off some calories... maybe the laptop?... maybe tomorrow?... maybe the weekend?... the itch to have it grows daily... so anyway, keep in touch :)

home, hungry, and the gym is still busy

well, not eating all day certainly is not the way to get back to healthier habits, so that must change... once again, i arrive home late and head for the gym and it's busy... i did a couple of circuits on the weight machines, but the elliptical machine was booked for at least an hour... now i am beginning to think that it sucks that they only have one... they have three bikes and three treadmills, decent equiptment, but only one elliptical squeezed in between the others... so i'm going to eat and maybe head down later, maybe sleep and see if waking early is in the cards, maybe skip the day and let the muscles rebuild... weight loss requires daily though, so i'll just have to figure something out if i am going to get serious about this again...

and guess what i found on the door when i got home... a waiver of the late fee for me to sign acknowledging it's one time only and reiterating the rules of rent due by the 3rd of the month... and here i thought it was due the fifth... so anyway, my letter worked, cool... and they now explained they have electronic payment and automatic debit payment too... i'll have to find time to stop by the office to sign up though...

so management doesn't suck... now if only the place did not have a list of things i do not like... wonder how many modifications i can make... when there's time... and if i decide i want to spend money on the place... work was the usual, a lot of it with a lot of people waiting for information... while some try to stay old school and ignore data, slowly but surely i am seeing more and more directors sneak a look at the data i am presenting each month and more are asking for the results... we'll move into the 21st century any year now (at least most take my razzing sorta well)...

meanwhile, time for dinner... hope you had a good day too :)

busy crazy day

if something could go wrong at work today, it did... computer problems, people making all sorts of mistakes, dangerous mistakes... there'll be a big mess tpo clean up next year... i don't know why i bothered going in because i could get nothing done... tomorrow may be the same, but hey, then i am off for five more days, so, patience...

gonna go nap now :)

it doesn't matter what you say

i'm gonna babble anyway, ho ho ho (wait a minute, this isn't the babbler's place nor is it the party place, this is thereal {ok, so i'm thereally happy at the moment} so what's up in the briefness of thereal?)... well, i'm gonna love you anyway anyway, so there...

wow, almost got hijacked by the babbler, aye?... so, just getting home, some food in the oven, slept long (and not enough... imagine waking after eleven hours or so feeling like another eleven, or at least some, would be sweet) and tonight, the plan is to nod off at will right here even if the babbler is disquieted (it's a curve ball words, shhhh, the brain is processing it)...

while the brain is occupied, there's not much to tell about thereal today... work was the usual, i picked up on some side projects, got some more end-of-year work done, worked on next year's databases and spreadsheets, put out a couple of fires, and danced with the devil in the pale moon light... no wait, the devil took the holiday week off, so it must have been someone else...

and then, here we are... food (some kashi rice pilaf with some thai peanut sauce and maybe a spinach calzone... multi-ethinicity is a balanced diet) and then, nonchalantly nod off into la la land while the fingers tap almost aimlessly on the keyboard...

maybe tomorrow i'll make a (drumroll...) phone call (remember freshman english?... my assignment is to call before i go for a run (someone reading my mind?)... well, what do you think? :)