life is busy

working extra hours regularly and on call three of the four weekends this month, but just as busy away from work as softball monday nights, tuesday nights, thursday nights, and sundays fills the calendar (linked on the right there, in case you want to know and forgot) and then some game nights and tonight, dinner with the pink pussies of facebook (hey, it's a dining club friends have put together, look it up, tell them bugs sent you... you know, the internet is a weird place so we all adapt online to have fun with the cyber delusions)...

it was lobster night at the ale house so we met and manged and managed to have much fun... and then coming home i stop for some chocolate and find a favorite cookie on sale (but two packages and get one free) so i did and now there's chocolate in the house (and nuts, did i mention nuts?) and the slacker slips a bit further back into the piggy habits and nearer to the 190 limit i thought i set for myself weeks ago when i was teasing the 180 mark (weight talk, ya know)...

tomorrow i'll be at work super early to prepare for the quality council and then have a web meeting in the afternoon and then softball in the evening and dinner if i can get to it with some friends and then friday it's halloween at work and i'll be in super early decorating the back office area which turns into a haunted hallway for the kids and by friday afternoon i'll be a zombie and will i sleep?... that's doubtful on a friday night, but at least there's nothing planned, i think...

so am i alone in life because nobody wants to keep up with me or because i'm moving too fast from fun to work to fun to actually pause and meet someone and nobody wants to meet on the run or is it just my love of garlic?...

sense of humor, gotta have one... hope you do too :)

in the wee hours

this is when i miss the music the most... and the dream of the soulmate who shares the love of music and words and fun and games and caring and sharing and being in love as much as i do... like the way i do, aye mel... wishing you were somehow here again, whomever you are... come out, come out...

meanwhile, back in thereal... i've been playing lots of softball, winning and losing and getting better all the time (3 for 3 tonight, 11 for 12 with 2 walks for the week)... playing monday, tuesday, and thursday nights and sunday afternoons at the moment... and i've been working a lot, every month adding more work to the workload and making slow progress in changing the dysfunction of the system (the hippie fights the establishment from within, aye?)... not doing as much in the social or show going out stuff (as the calendar shows) and still personally intimately and creatively lonely, but loving the softball and even still enjoying the work, so it's all about the fun fun fun until the right one comes along (the beach boys meet art garfunkle meet the stones {cuz they couldn't drag me away}, or something like that)...

but where have you been?...

who me?... well, besides doing all that stuff, almost all my home time has been spent playing the video game diet... that is, i let my gaming addiction take over and replace my food addiction and viola (or violin, voila?... yeah, ok), i finally knocked off a lot of the weight i put on living with humans who eat like normal americans so i have eaten out only a few times in the past few months and have eaten a lot of lean protein and veggies and fruit and healthy fooods and low fat and low carbs and no sugars or chocolates and so on and i dropped 40 pounds (but gained back 10 this week cuz i binged and as if to mock me, the game broke, but it's not a serious relapse and i expect to drop another 20 pounds in the next month or two and yes, who knew)...

so what else is new?...

lots, but that's enough for this entry in the wee hours... if i get the game fixed i might disappear again, so i won't pretend i am back (even though two new blogs started this week... yes, you read right) and more than a dozen or so new entries popped out just in the last few hours (as if the brain never stopped writing, aye?)... can you imagine if there was actually some up close and personal inspiration in my life?... shhhh, let's not scare the grown-ups... so life goes on and i hope you are enjoying yours as much as i am enjoying mine, even if you're not getting everything you want at the moment... even if you've been gone (you're not forgotten)... even if you were never here...

live, laugh, love, and... dance! :)

focused

a summer of changing eating habits and dropping weight, work and softball and video games and the occasional party with friends... this is to be the year i return this body to it's healthiest weight... or die (should i not smirk at that?)...

narf..

softball sunday 2-22

yeah, right (no really, yeah, right)... once upon a time i'd have stayed up all night and wrote my hopes and dreams and the creative muses would have flourished in synaptic bliss brought on by hormonal surges and emo roller coaster, but the muscles demand more sleep so i nodded off and now, repeating... eliminate the excess sugar, fat, and other carb calories... realign the routine with optimal healthy feelings... realign the spine with the forces of nature and the spirit/hope of sentient sensuosity...

a fair workout at the gym last night and now... wake, shower, run out to softball... and enjoy the active day out in the sunshine... may you make your day all it can be :)

sprinting around the bases

good thing i got some sleep as there was a more serious than usual softball practice that ended in sprints... first to first, then home to second, then home to third, then home around back to home, and finally second to home... a couple of the guys did not finish, which is sad, since they are mostly in their twenties... only one caught me and that was as i slowed up to cross home plate, which i'll remind them about next practice to hopefully motivate them to try harder since they all agreed they wanted to play in the competitive division and not in the recreational division...

after the sunday team practice, i headed over to the monday-thursday league practice and definitely was feeling the sprints in the leg and ab muscles... so on the way home i bought protein and ate only protein (mostly... i stopped at boston market and got just chicken and meatloaf, no sides... the legs feel better already... i figure the meatloaf has enough carbs and both have enough fat to be balanced... i'll take vitamins for the missing essentials... i hear my newly turned vegan friend in my mind . . . or is that conscience?... still, i must trust this body to tell me what is best at this point)... and drinking only water after a cup of grapefruit juice... now if i just cut out the extra carbs i've been indulging in since last halloween or so (and the game nights, oh those decadent game nights)...

the sprints tell me it is time to drop the belly and so, for this moment, i am telling myself to stop the madness and focus on scales and that old faithful number 180 (since i did not drop below it last time i decided to actually take optimal weight and conditioning seriously)... we shall see if today is another moment of change... ah, if only i lived with a cheerleader... i respond very well to cheerleaders... sometimes :)

the gym

yes, i made it back down there, finally, after months away (i did get down there in september a handful of times and maybe october cuz i was using it for internet too and checked out the machines)... i've been utterly ridiculous in my lack of serious exercise (softball 4-5x a week is still not serious exercise, there, i said it)... and i called the nice person who kinda dared me to get back to running, though she was out or busy... thanks anyway :)

40 minutes on the elliptical, just over 3 miles, the first mile in 11 minutes at level 5 and the rest fluctuating between level 10 and 2, so the deterioration is obvious... and now, i am feeling the sugar and caffeine withdrawals and that is not a great feeling, but it's about time i simply stopped for a while cuz it's been a while since i simply stopped... long enough for this withdrawal to be a pain... and my impatience used to simply raise the stakes (as in increasing the intensity of the exercise which would accelerate the process and temporarily increase the pain, but will that be a health risk now (age plays a factor, or so all the books say)...

there's that feeling alone and what if i pass out or have a heart attack or stroke and die or become a vegetable just cuz nobody was around in the first few minutes cuz i am all alone in the world woe-is-me and so on song playing again)...

time to go to the gym again?...

hope i return :)