weird how much i miss them... i mean, she was hardly ever home and had so little time to hang out in the last six months and he was always needy looking for her and wanting to play and begging for food and just like the little kid inside of me (did i say that?)... and i was watching my savings head downhill (still am) and i love the solitude too and we were so very cramped in this place... but i miss them so much it hurts... of course that could be cuz everywhere i look i see work i do not want to do and the place is still as cluttered as ever but now the girl and her dog who made it worth living in the clutter is gone... all that's left is the cluttered space and the aloneness... so there's a tinge of frustration mixed in with the lonely missing them...
just one thing to do...
(get a life)
ha ha ha, everybody's a comediana... did you know that edward's chocolate creme pie is decadently delicious?... yeah, well, i ate a kashi dinner jackson left in the freezer and a half a creme pie... sunflower seeds for dessert... what?... who wants normal?... yeah, ok, i obviously need to find some local tennis and exercise partners or i will not be able to fit into any of my clothes... maybe i ought to stop feeling sorry for myself first?... if only somebody took me seriously, i might start doing it again too...
heck, has anybody really understood me really?... ever?... much doubts about that... but then, no harm in asking, aye?... 'cept when it hurts... duh... doh... dum...
thunder and lightening outside... and no one to share it... yes, i obviously (after quite a few years, actually) feel seriously lonely and the hunger to share daily life again... even more than jackson and i did... but that's always been my trouble, hasn't it, (as if you know) wanting to share everything all the time with someone who is my whole world who also makes me her whole world... so ridiculously romantic (impossibly, perhaps) for these modern rush around way too busy times...
this is not supposed to be a rambling blog, remember?... omigosh, does this mean it is time for another blog to begin?... well, several already have (shhhhh, secrets will be told in due time)... well, if you've been paying attention at all then you know the answer to that and many other questions... several, obviously...
got to let nature take it's course :)
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