missing out

once att is taking over t-mobile does that mean i get to sleep with carly foulkes?... yes, i feel like i am missing out on life stuff, fun stuff, love stuff, play stuff, serious stuff, party stuff, game stuff, sex stuff, goofy stuff... shared stuff... yes, that's it, i am missing out on shared stuff... even my dreams and fantasies are weak these days cuz they are not shared - not even in the writing ways i used to share them with myself just to keep them alive and full of energy and life and hope and me... i claim there is no time, but more, there is less hope and strength and more laziness and apathy... ambivalence takes the fun out of life... but there is so little time too...

so maybe it is pathetic that i whine about how lonely i am and about how nobody really gets me or cares to even try and maybe it's all a waste of time (but there's the rub, and the ultimate strength of the hope that never lets me quit)... whatever anyone things, this reaching out proves i am still here, have not given up, and still dream and hope and dance and sing and enjoy myself inside beyond anyone's wildest imagination... and so i'll go it alone, if that's how it must be... and i will be here...

anytime :)