the universe cares or

something like that... so i moped (not as in riding a moped to work) and felt the lonelies big time and wondered if anybody ever really cared about me for real and whether i am really worth anything to anybody other than a few dollars and i drag myself into work without a shower (but at least did dry shave) planning on slowly distracting myself with work while taking time to get to the bank and pay rent and send out the credit card letter and so on and what do i find... a half dozen investigators are at the facility doing a full annual survey for acha by acha people from another district in addition to our ahca and dcf people... so i didn't sit down to breath too much today and no time for much of anything but dancing with the surveyors...

so it's now dinner time...

jackson called to tell me about her day and that felt really good like maybe i really do matter in her life and have value, aye?... ah, most seriously, i love living alone and yet, this time, i miss my roommates (yes, happiness too) more than i've missed any roommates in decades... even though the place was cramped and cluttered and messy and now i may even have the space to spread out and unpack, i miss them cuz they cared so well and it was good to live with healthy caring and most of all, they needed me and i forgot how much i love to be needed...

so much for the distractions of the day, aye? :}

take care of yourself and your friends cuz you never know when they will be gone and you are on your own again... most important to remember is that near or far, true friends who love you unconditionally are the most important thing in the world...

ta da! :}

(hey, i'm trying, ya know? :}