so much silence

the absence of puppy, happiness, is the biggest change as i wake on this first sunday alone in this space... the snacking last night does not help as i feel quite bloated... wonder how long before i motivate myself to exercise... the solitary exercise is the meditative leap that will be the break through into acceptance of the reality of living alone...

are you as bored as i am of this dragging out the changes period?... even the creativity is kinda weak this time when compared to previous years (you'll just have to look back yourself for comparison cuz we don't have the time and the hand-written written gardens are in storage north of niagara falls... yeah, still... i did pay the bill for this year finally... they cashed the check so the stuff must still be up there... long strange trip continues, no less, aye?)... but there is creativity - so yay :)

burned incense last night... smells like jackson in here now cuz it's her incense... everything around me including the chair upon which i sit is her stuff actually as the living room furniture was all hers and yeah, the boxes remain where they were left piled on the couches and floor and so on... it's really, physically, like she's not gone and will be back any minute... happiness too...

waking up emo, no doubt (laughing at myself even as i wallow in the lonelies, aye?... if only you understood all the layers, you'd run away like everybody else... or wait, that was supposed to be more optimistic... lmfao at myself, lam... that would be lmfaoam, actually... are you really following the subtle subtext and the betwixt and between the lines stuff this week?... amazed that toronto hasn't picked up on all this yet... perhaps we need a more severe cheese grater to run the heart over and through?... oh stop it, you're killing me - and thank you jack benny)...

somebody wake groucho, the irreverence is kinda weak in spots :}