too serious for this world

fell asleep, sweetly, slept deep for the living room recliner, woke after four or so hours, maybe more, and almost laid down for the rest of the night when the phone distracted me... i checked it and it said emergency calls only... not sure why... maybe a new setting gets set automatically somehow since the new software upgrade last week... the text i thought i sent to jackson this afternoon never went through... i thought maybe it was a memory thing as there were thousands of text messages in the phone, thousands for in her folder alone... so i called att on the other phone and they were closed... sucks, a phone company not having 24 hour service in emergencies... oh really?... and then i went on their website and they didn't have my phone listed accurately... something changed between the connection with att and the htc phone... so i entered my phone in my account and then asked to chat with a tech person... absolutely no help at all and the text person told me to go to an att store... incompetence, not a good night for att at all... att sucks...

so i will maybe need to get the phone to the store... maybe i'll call htc tomorroe... anyway, i slept through monday night sci-fi so i considered watching it, but instead, it played in the background while i spent two hours reading and deleted thousands of text messages, most of them from and to jackson... if you know me, you know i am awake now... yeah, so i sat here i deleted the messages, one by one, for the past two hours... there are about 800 messages to go, but i am too blurry to read any more... saying goodbye, letting go, it never was an easy thing for me... there is still food in the fridge that needs to be tossed in the trash... did i mention it was one month ago tonight we set off to drive up to maine?... people don't really want to be as close as we can be... and i am way too emo for this world...

that is why i stay alone so much and nobody stays too close...

don't be sad, i am happy as i am :)

and someday my princess...

well, you know :)