almost resting right

yeah, almost... it would take a few weeks at least, maybe a few months to refocus and center myself after ten years in the madness again, though not as long as the last time i walked away from the rat race in 1990... the natural rhythm of this body is so different (as in nocturnal) from the norms of our society and living with a daytime person and a very daytime dog creates a very daytime space here, so the past week of vacation has been wonderful, but not free of sleep interruptions so fatigue remains... the intrusion of the work that requires my attention does not help as i am not completely free of responsibility for my day job even with a full week off... alas, i love to provide the guidance and the nurturing my work allows me to provide, but the self-time is so limited and broken, as i said, fatigue remains...

jackson has a nasty bit of a sore throat as well, which is this body's greatest vilnerability and i feel the big trying to get into my cells... socializing with friends at the parties of the season adds to the challenge of creating the me time, but then, i love the socializing as well... if only there were 42 hours in each day, there would be enough time for everything... hopefully the balance i create each day that has kept this body alive and the mind i inhabit smiling will continue to be maintained through my momentary decisions and someday my princess will come, as usual...

what is not understood is still present, and smiling, even if i am the only one who knows why... you are welcome to inquire or share as you please and i hope you do :)