eating less, sorta

left to my own devices, i would be eating a lot less... but the social aspect of sharing meals has me eating more than i need to what with the lack of job and therein lack of movement of late... perhaps it is not wise to say no to too many invitations for social meetings over food, what with the loneliness screaming and the self-esteem gaping and the idleness telling me to go to hell or some such madness, but if not for the friends, i'd have no appetite and would be dropping pounds (which would be a good idea for the body)... a can of chicken is too filling these days... one hot dog is a meal when there is no appetite... all the emotional eating i've done in this life, suddenly i feel less hunger than i have ever remembered... and the cat sits patiently nearby, waiting for me to stop typing and put the laptop aside because jackson is gone so much, she is turning to me for all of her needs and she wants petting and scratching and stroking and loving most of the day... poor baby, her mommy is so seldom home and simply does not have time for her these days... she stops and stares with each movement i make, hoping it's her turn on my lap for a rub down... she is shedding all over the place, but she is still eating well...

i am open to anything for distraction, but i am left to my own devices most of the time now... focus, stay positive, and go with the flow of low appetite so the weight gained in the last few months can melt away... or something like that...

narf :)