perhaps confession

yes, i am really a hopelessly hopeful romantic dreaming of falling in love, true love, unconditional trust and honest love, and i've waited for a long long time (with respect to linda ronstadt, i've remained true to the song and to you too, even though others may appear higher on libbo's list cuz you did not stay as attractive to me as you grew, similar to stevi nicks... i know i wrote more songs and letters to stevi, you're not still made, are you?... of course we're all just prisoners in disguise or desperados. but we digression) since i showed much activated interest in possible meeting someone who might stimulate the heart (or other body parts, even) and what?... romance?... i've given up on the stuff... just be real and require no pretense or preparation and grow old along with me (cuz the best is yet to be) and get my song references and jokes and me and accept my different perspectives and try to understand even when i don't make sense to you and share everything openly and honestly and completely and i will do the same and we can live happilly ever after forever and ever...

yes i was once in love with amy
and i will always be in love with amy
but that doesn't mean i can't love you
for there are others still in my heart too

you know love does not end if you don't pretend
if you believe that true love is true
so everyone i've ever loved is here with me
and if you can't accept that as reality

then we really ought to just be friends
if you think true love can end
but if you can accept and embrace all the love i ever knew
then i will do my best to do the same for you

i may never find the right one
for everyone tells me to keep this truth inside
i don't think that hiding is fun
and i will not trust a heart that has lied

so maybe i will be alone as this life ends
even though i live to be in love
a heart never breaks if it learns to bend
that is the heart i dream of

i just want to find the one who wants all of me
and i want to love all you have ever been as well
it won't work if we can't share each others fantasy
it won't work if there are stories you can't tell

so welcome to my world and all the love i've ever known
never letting go of true love is how my heart has grown
there is endless love inside if we just never choose to hide
tell me everything and let go of fear shame and pride

you know love does not end if you don't pretend
if you believe that true love is true
so everyone i've ever loved is here with me
and if you've know true love you know the same is true for you
tell me everything and we can make everything new
tell me everything and and i'll do the same for you
trust me with everything...
that's how to make love true

ok so guess it wasn't quite over when i thought it was over... took a potty break and came back to find this (and a dozen before... you really ought to start ten or twelve entries back to see what happened last night... or the past few days... or this month, for that matter... it is a december (da da dahhhhhh!), after all, if you recall what that means and if you don't, all the more reason to review and ask after you do)... unless of course you are just passing through and don't really want to know me which is ok, fine even, but jhust in case you do, we have our ways you should know...

so what do you think?... what do you feel?... illusion?... delusion?... or is it real?... can anyone overcome the fear?... someday my princess will appear (thank you walt disney, wherever you are)... it has been an energetic night for the muses, many nights, actually, and days too... far from the magic, but a glimmer of hope may be twinklinf out there in here somewhere (i do believe)... could it really be a return of the secret art (and madness) of redundant repetitivity?... it's actually still not quite 6am, but i am uploading entries that will pop up automatically while i sleep... cuz i do need sleep (and the body wants to heal, arm muscles, remember?) and i never know which entry i should leave up for the whole day (or days if i get too busy)... nice to take a few days off to sit here alone and let the words flow... hope the explanations don't ruin the mood for you... you do have a mood, right?... what is it?...

narf :)