there i was

i was nodding off about six hours ago and knew the ucf game was coming on so i drank some iced coffee and and i am still buzzing... and suddenly the question if you could go back in time and change one thing in your life, what would that be? pops up on the tv as if the tv programmers read the previous entry withing moment of it's posting which is that robert klein kind of eerie that doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to (when i was seventeen, that was a very good year) and would i really go back to that fateful moment i gave into the love of one girl when i knew i was already in love with her best friend and say no to the one coming on to me while i waited for the one who i was in love with to let me know she was falling in love with me (which she did just two weeks later) and would we then have lived and be living happily after now even though she may have wanted what she got out of life which was the conformity of the kids and house in the suburbs and happy idiot struggling for the legal tender life never wandering or exploring more than a few miles from the place of birth when deep down i am an explorer with insatiable curiosity who craves learning and new experiences and one for whom conformity never made any sense and is this really a question that can or should be answered and even if it is and it was, what would it matter?...

i never thought it would take so long to find true love again

i thought i knew what love was
we were class couple for a while
but i walked by the program office
and was captured by a smile

i found myself walking by again
i was not sure i should
but i was hooked at first sight
i walked by whenever i could

just to see her face
just to see her smile
it may not have been wise

but i walked by every chance i could
just to see her eyes
i could not get enough of her eyes

we celebrated a year together
bought her a teardrop
but the vision of those eyes haunted me
and nothing i could do would stop

my dreams filled with her face
my dreams filled with her smile
it came as such a surprise

but i walked by every chance i could
just to see her eyes
i could not get enough of her eyes

the class couple had to break up
my heart was somewhere else
i could not live a lie or keep
my dreams up on a shelf

my dreams were her face
my dreams were her smile
i had no more alibies

so i walked by every chance i could
just to see her eyes
i could not get enough of her eyes

and we met and we fell and we broke all rules
and we made love everywhere
and we melted in each others arms
we were the salt in a tear

and we kissed and it felt the love of fools
falling like an eagle flies
feeling our hearts beating as one
lost in each others eyes
so lost in each others eyes

and then she was gone
and somehow i learned to carry on
searching for someone who could understand
i was still lost in her wonderland

i so wanted to love again
gave it so many tries
oh and how i tried
but it seems after all these years
i had to face my worst fear
it has become all too clear
it may not be wise
but i am still part of her tears
i'm still lost in her eyes

my dreams are her face
my dreams are her smile
i cannot compromise

i still walked by every chance i can
just to see her eyes
i can not get enough of her eyes

my dreams are her face
my dreams are her smile
i cannot compromise

i still walk by every chance i can
just to see her eyes
i can not get enough of her eyes

i'm still lost in her eyes
i'm still lost in her eyes
i'm still lost in her eyes

well, this must be december, a few weeks late, but there goes my baby, writing one more line... wonder where, wonder where, she is now... so take good care of my baby... cuz cherish is the word that used to describe all the feeling that i had hiding here for her inside... and there could never be a portrait of my love, for nobody can paint a dream so i will sing till tomorrow waiting for this magic moment to come back to me... cara mia, why?... wow, it might as well be the first of may...

narf :)