time for some xmas movies

i watched miracle on 34th st last week and the magic of believing in santa clause (for me, a real person who lives in this physical world primarily to give and share and help others dreams come true and yes, that is why i exist, but does anybody really know how deep that goes or how real that is?... i wonder) reminded me of how emotionally amazing watching audio visual representations of dreams and ideals and the me i strive to me can be (loving the way i allow myself to forget when i am alone which is my subconscious choice so that if and when i ever do find the one, it is that magic moment of first love, first discovery, first innocence, and all that stuff of dreams and fairy tales most people lose in the rush to be grown up) and it (watching miracle on 34th st, in case you lost track of this stream of consciousness... the original version, by the way) am left with a cathartic euphoria once again just like the first time, or something like that...

and tonight the second half of it's a wonderful like is on in the semi-background and george is experiencing life without him in it which is a reminder that rarely does a person truly appreciate their own worth in this world (most have a warped perspective either too egocentric or too selfless {even to the point of self-deprecation to the point of self-abusive} and either extreme produces a perspective that is, when actualized, distorted enough to be self-destructive {just look around at human behavior and if you can actually see, you will} which is the sad reality of shared delusions) because (see previous parentheses) most people live in delusional denial blind to the reality all around them (and within them) which is why fictional stories are often so much more real than the lives we live (which is one reason they are so popular)... did i start philosophizing yet?...

ah, if only someone was around who shared my perspective, life would be as complete as it gets...

narf :)