ok then, i never got back to sleep so here we are and checking email for the first time since mid november i found a response from a friend, known as j around these parts, asking about family... so i pondered my definition (with great brevity, so it belongs here, right?) and this is what came out (with the usual slight edits for here)...
family is... a person or people who share unconditional love and trust.
simple enough in my mind... i used to be family to anyone, but sharing the unconditional trust has become much more challenging (and apparently unwise) so i am family to no one these days... and that is the ideal... a more thoughtful and experienced answer might be...
family is a person or people who share unconditional love and consciously choose to trust each other to share that love and be there when needed no matter what, even if all other trust is gone...
yeah, that's a much better definition that i can live with in the real world... in this case, i am family to anyone who wants me within reasonable limits of what they want, how much they want, why they want, and my ability to give (this is my reality)... it is a conscious decision even if the connection starts in the unconscious or subconscious (like falling in love sometimes does).. the connection can come through biology, legal bond, accidental meeting... the relationship is a choice, a commitment done all the time, not just said (and especially not just when convenient or appropriate)... as caring is a verb... as is sharing...
family shares the last bite of food even if it is the last bite of food on earth and ultimately, when left with no other choice but to accept death, family embraces each other and shares death...
and that is where i paused and thought i may even be done as i am comfortable and happy that the words above define family well for me...
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