blood pressures

somewhere around fifteen years ago after landing on the street after a volitile emotionally devastating relationship and the ultimately betrayal of trust i found my blood pressure was high (130/80) for the first time ever... somewhere around ten years ago i found a doctor telling me, over and over, that 140/90 was high enough to start me on drugs... it must have been a moment of weakness as i gave in and trusted that doctor... that doctor dropped me after a couple of years for reasons she did not explain, but it might have been that she saw me as too high a risk for her (financially or emotionally or something) as i wanted to stop the pills because i pulled a muscle for the first time in this life (in a pickle between first and second... i got back safely, but hobbled off the field with a pulled hammy) and i drifted a bit, stopping the meds and finding my bp shoot up to 150/100 and even higher... since then the bp kept rising and can currently be found as high as 215/115, which would rush some doctors to admit me immediately if i let them... i've signed many a legal document relieving doctors of liability for my refusal of their recommended medical care...

for a while i went to another doctor who had me try red year rice and garlic and if seemed to work for a while but over the past couple or few years i stopped going to that doctor because first i stopped having insurance for fifteen or so months and during that time moved to the other end of the greater orlando area (about 40 minutes away flying on highways without any traffic, over an hour many times of the day) and when i called this week his next available appointment was some time in february... so i searched for doctors again (my search earlier this year ended up with me frustrated enough to stop searching until recently... all i found were pill-pushers in clinics covered by my particular health coverage (uhc choice, if you must know)... my search this week found three different prospects, all of whom were booked until mid-february... so i lowered my standards and went through zocdoc (where earlier appointments seem available for some reason) and found two only semi-questionable doc who will be interviewed on the 29th of this month and the 2nd of next, if i live that long...

it's an interesting life from inside a bloody that medical science says is likely to explode at any moment... i am so happy i am as irreverently content inside as i am... my only regret is not finding the one and to a lesser degree not creating a biological child and momentarily, not wanting to leave jackson in her current state of dependancy on me and scary financial habits ( how do i hire a financial manager to help her with any insurance i leave her if i suddenly stop breathing?... must investigate... don't be sad, it's only life and preparing for leaving loved ones is an essential aspect of peace and love)... sheesh this got serious all of a sudden... where's a squirrel when i need one?...

narf :}