alas, it seems that this entry seems broken in both crhome and firefox... i will try ie another time... in any case i was wondering through the two deepest cuts in this life i've known, the two relationships that meant the world to me at the time and remain the closest to the dream of true love i've ever known and i wonder if this song means anything to either of them... and what it means, if anything, at that... and will i ever know... and should i even be wondering...
but then it is natural, i suppose, to look back at the almosts when alone in life if at once to remain cautious but even more, to rekindle the desire to try again... i have another stroke to risk, after all, if baseball means anything (and i play softball a lot, so shouldn't it?)... and i laugh at so many links pass through my babbles, perhaps random or not, but there is still little so true as the genuine response of a caring friend... it's not as if anyone really ever knew me, or what is real or what is not or what may be somewhere in between (if there can be such a place)...
i mean how can the phrase lost in translation not attract a wandering writer as it did as i searched as i found a song that connected to a wandering back through memories i did just moments before finding the song (randomly heard on a tv commercial as the tv plays in the background) and wondering if anyone cares, gets it, or wants to...
or am i forgotten and will i ever know
should i stop wondering and just let go
oh oh, how can i know which way to go
oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
so what can i say about what happened yesterday
if it is forgotten does it matter anyway
is there any feeling when certain songs play
is it meaningless noise or something
you just push away
oh oh oh oh, do you want me to stay
oh oh oh oh, how am i to know
if you never say
am i supposed to read your silence
as wishing i would would understand
how afraid you are of losing me
am i supposed to take your hand
or just accept your silence
as the closing of a door
are you trying to tell me
you don't want me any more
has too much time passed for love to last
or there still an endless glow
in the window of your heart for me
how am i supposed to know
am i just buried deeper than you want to go
or am i forgotten and will i ever know
oh oh oh oh, do you want me to stay or go
oh oh oh oh, how am i to know
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