when i don't feel like sharing

there are times in this life when i do not feel like sharing and those times occur more often and for longer periods than ever with greater satisfaction as they do... when i was much younger i craved sharing all the time and my alone time was usually brooding over not sharing or exploring myself through words or playing a game to stimulate my mind, all the while, no matter what i was doing, i wanted to be sharing it 99.9% of the time... these days i probably want my alone time as much as i want my shared time and only crave sharing because i do so little actual sharing (especially sharing me completely cuz nobody's ever taken all of me) these days... my babbling, and maybe a few of you have been around long enough to notice, has become much more of a distrating random irreverence than a lament for the one or anything else... sure, i still want to share and the dream of the one remains the number one personal selfish dream (the number one dream just might be peace and happiness and fulfillment for all beings cuz that includes me too so i get the selfish dream and get the wonderfulness of being in a world where everybody gets their dream too... not altruistic or some saintly wish, just logical, aye?)...

anyway, i don't feel like sharing much today so here we are, writing for me, but sharing with you just the same cuz, well, there's always at least a sliver of hunger to share in me cuz that is why i remain here, online writing publicly, not to mention alive in this world...

rational thinking is so rare these days... so i do my best to laugh at myself and at everything and enjoy the moments as life goes on...

narf :)