this would be a good time for drugs... it's been a long time since i felt some good thc... it's been even longer since i let lsd or anything like it heighten senses... maybe it would be too much feeling like it is for a lot of humans, especially when the feelings are so painful the brain does not want them to rise up from the depths of the subconscious... i drank a couple of mike's hard cherry lemonades, but that just helped the subconscious put me to sleep and since i did not want to sleep, i switched to chocolate coffee milk... slightly wired now, i see reality through a teary fog and start the process... five stages of grief, or so the educations says... and the corporate greed is right there trying to sell comfort and resolve, grieving is big business for business... even bigger for the corporate churches... ah, what would i do without cynical reasoning a rational logic and honest emotion...
jackson went away for the night... and i mourne home alone... that's as it should be... we all process death in our own way...
remembering happiness...
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