not here

i must remember that i have a hundred other blogs (or more) for a hundred other reasons (or more) and that allows me to compartmentalize the many diverse aspects and perspectives and experiences and moods and emotions and lives i live in this life so i can cleanse my mind and allow the best of me to shine through when it is needed most... i mean the very title of this one reminds me of how silly complaining is and yet i find the complaining habit somewhat pleasurable probebly because i have been alone for so long and the dream of falling in love forever and sharing this life with someone (once upon a time, creating a family was part of that dream) has all but passed and there is that part of me who wants to complain all the time cuz good dreams don't come cheap and dreams die hard when they don't come true... and being alone, i have way too much time to whine and vent about how unfair it is that i give so much and still feel used and abused almost every day...

i wonder if that's ptsd skewing my perspective... perhaps, but the mistreatment is still real most days and criticisms and lack of real appreciation too... but that's another story and i must remind myself today and every day, not here... here is for the positive perspective (in spite of the many times i've forgotten as you will see if you read or have seen if you've read any number of the thousands of entries in this blog)...

so what else is new?...

narf :)