meanwhile, on the radio

meanwhile, on the radio (football), i am torn between chicago winning and losing (shhhh, jackson is a hard core die-hard chicago fan... she invests a lot of herself into her teams)... i am not a hard core fan of any team, but i like to see the giants win being a NYC born and raised (but nowadays ... what's that song?) child and like to see them do well... i like specific players and have been a tom brady fan since he came up as a 6th round draft pick (love the underdog) and i think the coach and ownership there has the best system so i route for new england most years, but don't feel crushed if anybody loses... i do feel the adrenaline and disappointment full force for a few minutes cuz i love the roller coaster... it's more about being intellectually right than any real bond with a city or team... for better or worse or whatever it means in the end after all the introspection and whatever judgments might come,, the detachment learned in childhood remains one of the most dominant forces or influences in this life...

oh sure, this is a fine time to start thinking i don't really have a bond with anything or anybody... yeah, too much self-sacrifice and not enough self-indulgence... food, sure, but there's more to life than food, ya know?... so who am i telling?... i really ought to start listening to myself, aye?... write? ... uh-huh ... lol... lam... laa... as if...

so much self-mockery and laughter, can sanity survive? :)