excuses abound

yes a new buzz would definitely be on my wanna list and running would be the wisest way to go, but i also do not want to die just yet so i must be careful (and being careful has kept me sedentary for sooo long now)... ridiculous, but true... people die when doing vigorous exercise, ya know?... ridiculous, but true, ya know?...

but am i old yet?...

not inside, but there is a part of my mind letting me act quite old, and that is letting the body age more than it has to, and that is leading me to make excuses for the inactivity so what is it?... fear of death?... fear of stroke and vegetative state?... fear of injury?... fear of being alone and helpless?... fear fear fear, what is the point of fear when fear leads to destruction by inaction?... stupid stupid... who knew?... right...

oh course i know the answers... being lazy isn't a disease or big secret... it's just stupid... oh, how rude, huh?... wait, we're not done... and waiting for the one or the friend who will run with me and share every up and down of every day with me is not a big secret either, just even more stupid... or just as stupid... either way, the answer is obvious, no matter how well i ignore it... so now that we've exposed everything, what?...

hello, and how was your year? :)