multiple parties

there was a time i would travel from party to party on new years even with a best friend or with a group of people and occasionally by myself, but without a partner and with the traffic and distances and early-to-bed people, i am choosing one party for tomorrow's new year's even and alas, it's the smallest of the parties, but it's jackson's party, the first she is helping to make in many years... so much bittersweet...

jane just woke me... she called to find out if i was going to the biggest of the parties, an outdoor, torch-lit, pig-roasting 100+ person party (that is scheduled to go from 7pm-1am?... ah, there's the rub)... i told her i am going to jackson's even though i would like the opportunities for social life expansion at that huge party... and spending time with jane is fun of all the friends i have, she's the one who inspires me to wake up and feel this body the most, but it's not been enough to want a romantic relationship with her mostly cuz she's a great friend... and we know how compromising with a friend has turned out in the past and she's too good a friend to risk losing, so...

and the sunday morning softball team is having a new years party too, but i don't know about the times planned and though they are a great bunch of guys, there's less people and less chance for expanding social life and less close friends so it must be third on the party list (higher than others that are more public-ish, but still third cuz of the familiarity with friends at the other two)...

and then there's the game friends party, one of the ones i went to last year (and where i spent midnight) which is always fun and has almost as many potential social expansion opportunities (and i don't just mean a midnight make-out lol, but that is the farthest to drive to (though there is one other that is farther but i hardly see those people anymore, they are a kind of broken-apart group that used to be an atheist group) and i'll only stop in there after midnight if they are going for a few more hours...


and then there's jackson's party and i know she'd be sad (maybe upset) if i didn't go even though there is no chance of any social life expansion there cuz i know the few people going well and they are great people, but not anyone new...

so the bittersweet is remaining stagnant in social life so i can be at jackson's party, especially for the midnight ball dropping cuz she wants me there and she is my best friend and it is the party with the least driving and... she usually goes to sleep early though, so i'll probably head up to one of the two farther away parties when she crashes...

and that brings us to the after-party break-out from the games group party that goes until morning which will probably where i will go after jackson's party goes to bed...

there are other more public parties i am welcome at through meetup and facebook and others, but i've already got more choices than i can go to reasonably, so i shall enjoy the two i choose... i'll miss seeing jane (she's another early-to-bed girl) and a few other people, but fun will be had...

perhaps the 2013 resolution (not that i make any) will be to make choices that give me the best possibilities of expanding social life, aye?...