so yeah, right, anyway

another week passed and i did not fix the old car nor did i shop for a new car and tomorrow is another weekend and timw runs out again... fool, will i be paying for a fourth week of rental next week because i did not shop and decide on what car i want to buy?... jackson's gone again this weekend so she's not here to help with a ride back from the mechanic, but it's not her fault she's in love and does not have time to help me... i mean, just cuz i pay all the expenses almost every month so she has hundreds of extra dollars to pay her bills and spend a lot more on fun than she'd be able to do if she had to pay her own way in life... i mean, half the rent would pay for any car i'd like to buy and leave some monthly money to spare... not to mention stop the bleeding of my retirement savings... figure she might make a day available to help drive me around to fix my car and/or shop for a new car instead of me spending money on a rental and having to choose between fixing the car or shopping for a new car...

of course not doing either is my procrastinating choice... her lack of caring or help isn't a valid excuse for the self-destructive choice i am making... just the stupid self-pity party thrown by the wah-wah baby who wants a mommy to save me from the big bad world... or something like that...