must focus more on me

as if i focus on anything else?... well, whether this whiney daily blog shows it or not, i do focus on others more than on myself most of the time, like 23.5 our of 24 hours a day... sometimes more... even when i am sleeping... other things, not just other people... at least i keep the slight thread of internal locus of control alive somehow, if only in my subconscious, or i'd be quite dead to me, really, so it's not all whatever... but it's not good for me to be so imbalanced and nobody cares enough to notice in the physical world (you can tell me all you like about it in words from afar and i seriously love and appreciate you for it, but it's an only can be done in the physical world kinda thing if you know what i mean, or even if you don't know what i mean, it's an only can be done in the physical world kind of thing and it's up to me to do, no matter how much hands on motivation might come and help... not having any, this is almost moot)... wah wah wah and all that... no excuse for me not to do it... bottom line: if i don't care, why should anybody else?... the answer to that question, my friends, is also blowing in the wind...

just cuz i care... and caring is a verb... so do it... blah...

narf :}