weather doesn't like me

so the storms came (and they were serious)... trees down, some other damage around the area... jackson texted and said she is staying at sanford's instead of coming back here to watch the tournament with me as she had planned... sanford's power went out and the storm was bad, so not driving was the right move... she might have planned to stay there anyway since she didn't bring happiness home as she usually does and had to go back there after the game (so much gas, i wish she would learn to budget better, especially since the whole point of a roommate is the share the expenses equally and we've never gotten anywhere near that, but my not working and having no income is not her problem {or fault}... and she has a place to stay if i can't keep paying all the bills, so i don't need to worry about her)...

meanwhile, on the way home, i figured out why the interior of the car was starting to smell like dirty laundry (though there's no dirty laundry in it)... the roof leaks... not drip drip drip leak, but gushing cups of water leaks... the water apparently pools in the inner roof lining and when turning, the water came pouring out of the sides... all over me... and the passenger seat on the opposite turns... a lot of water (the rain was blinding and cars were pulled off the road, so there was a lot of water coming down and a lot of water getting it... damn, the third thing that needs fixing on the car... and this might be the cause of the second thing ailing the old car, the short draining the battery... damn damn damn... american cars... the engine is fine, easily another 50 thousand miles on it or more... never needed a tune up (and the only work on it did damage)... but the crap the rest of the car is made of is falling apart... hear that american car makers, your product is crap - fix it if you care about your country...

the last thing i need right now is more expenses, but i've got to get the car fixed... and i am frustrated that i am being pushed closer to looking for a job when i have other plans for the next few months and the money that would pay for those other plans is paying all living expenses and now, emergency car expenses... i was thinking about getting a three bedroom and looking for a third roommate so at least someone would share expenses, but i decided not to take the risk of another person sharing the living space and all the complications that could bring...

i love jackson... she's adopted family... sister daughter whatever the label, she's family... but she could, if she wanted to, learn budgeting better... especially now when i could use some help... and jacks, if you ever read this, don't run - you know you need to learn to budget for yourself and not for me and running will not help you learn anything... i can take these words off the net if you want or make some entries private, but survival skills are necessary for survival and if you won't let me or anyone help - please learn financial survival skills somehow...

it is so frustrating when someone i love is hurting by their own choices...

this vent didn't help as much as the last one...

that's that happens when i care...

narf...