life at 4am

even as i update alone (and the blogger gadgets on the sidebar have some sort of problem either with firefox or somewhere else cuz they won't update, the stupid techno failures, like microsoft vista, for instance) and i am ready for a change (can i go home now?), there are two episodes of eureka on the tv that is just right right distraction from the seriousness (and futile drama) of this experience we call life (at least among the humans)... while eureka does still contain a fair share of the forced drama (failing to bring closure to those storylines was it's primary failure as the series was cuz short way too soon, one more reason forced drama is a waste of time and detriment to creativity and success, which network executives and most writers still don't understand), it is one of the few shows that actually reached beyond the typical limits of imagination in which most stories hide... maybe that's why i like stephen king so much (maybe?)... he does what douglas adams did, except stephen does it on multiple levels in multiple directions (sometimes all at once)...

alas, nothing last forever and the eureka episodes are over... perhaps sleep would be wise, but the brain is more wired than tired so i made some crystal light because i did not feel like water and it's the only flavored drink in the house and it's also low in calories and uses stevia as a sweetener and i choose to believe stevia, the plant, is more natural and a better risk than any other chemicals for sweetening, even natural sugars... i wish pepsi would make mountain dew code red with stevia... better i simply stop drinking all sugared drinks, i know... anyway, i added emergen-c to give it some small semblance of nutritional value...

so now the tv has so little on (so many infomercials... and i have seen the nasa mission to mars and the st:ng shows on and that 70's show isn't appealing at the moment) that i am listening to someone's interpretation of the history of the jfk presidency, specifically the cuba-ussr crisis, even more specifically, how a specific plane, the vfp-62 or rf-8 crusader, was used... tv stations too often forget their audience the arrogance of people in power and the superpowers still amazes me... but then, the u.s. is still warring on those we call native americans (only 5% of whom can afford to pay for a college degree), so why should anything surprise me...

ah, life at 4am is when seek the escapes of creativity in audio, video, the written word, or anywhere that inspires thought and amusement so i laugh can at the drama i create trying to be part of humanity, trying to trust humans, trying to belong... but at 4am i recall that humanity suffers from collective insanity that includes the delusion that they don't... and i can return home to peace and clarity of being in my mind...