i especially mean one on one intimate relationships... romances... has there ever been an intimate relationship wherein one partner did not want to other partner to change?... i don't know... i've never been in one... and from one perspective, i've never met anyone who did not want to change at least one thing about themselves, so wanting to help someone change something they want to change is different than simply wanting someone to change to satisfy you... but who should decide?...
if someone wants another person to change something and that person does not want to change that thing, that relationship is doomed and should not be dragged on... but if the change is a mutual desire, then the relationship has a chance of working... still, so often i see relationships fail because the change does not happen or even more often, because the change does not happen fast enough...
and even more often i find people do not even know what they want... someone who does not know what they want cannot be satisfied and a relationship with that person is futile, but so often we don't know that... sometimes someone might not even be aware that they don't know what they want... that sometimes happens just because someone is insensitive or afraid to be aware and honest with themselves, but also happens when someone is trying to please someone else...
it has been a while since i chose to start an intimate relationship... primarily because i am looking for someone more aware, less afraid, and more honest than anyone i've met before... as egocentric or politically incorrect as it may sound, everybody else just needs help to get where i am... have i lost you along the way?...
to share a healthy relationship it must start with two healthy people and by healthy i mean mentally clear, rational, honest, aware, and above all else not harmful... i do not want any more unhealthy intimate relationships...
anybody know what i mean?...
Thursday, July 11, 2013
relationships are strange
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6 comments:
I suppose it's true that eventually in most human interaction, friendship, relationship, etc., it is somewhat inevitable that eventually one or both people will want something to change in the other. But I don't think it has to be that way. The more self awareness both partners are willing to practice the less need there will be to point fingers outward for things that are just projections from inward.
Then again, I suppose you could be right and it isn't possible in humanity at the moment and you are just going to ave to keep waiting and hoping until the rest of the flawed human race eventually catches up with you.
Unless of course it doesn't.
Ah, but i don't really believe no one understand and i don't really believe no one is as aware, as unafraid, and as honest as i am... i just wish i had proof :)
and i definitely have plenty of room for growth and learning as i am not as aware, unafraid, and honest as i'd like to be all the time and it is certainly not a competition, but it is an mind space that can only be shared by one in a very similar mind space... and a body space as well...
it is something that can only be experienced and not adequately explained...
perception is like that...
so words fail...
narf :
Isn't that really the important thing though? To realize we all really aren't as aware, unafraid and honest as we could be? And that really it's only a problem if we somehow believe we've arrived at some kind of end point, or even worse we're superior to someone else? As long as we're open and continuing to open and see ourselves honestly and with continued awareness and laugh at the ways we fell asleep to ourselves ... well, it really does level the field and gives us better understanding and perspective about where other people are in their own wake/sleep cycle.
Yes :)
.
.
Any more I say is simply continuing the conversation at the risk of distracting from the essential points already made, just cuz I like communicating with you :)
Or I could just repeat it in different words still just repeating what you already said :)
Being more aware, unafraid, and honest is just being in a different place, not better... Being more openly actively sharing the state of being more aware, unafraid, and honest is an advantage in life and interactions sometimes, but still not simply better on any arbitrary worth scale...
better and worse, like all competitive measures, are mostly personal egocentric judgments and i only take ego seriously as a plaything for teasing myself when i am bored or otherwise self-amusing...
that may be a whole other story, aye? :)
yeah, and i actually do kind of have a habit of repeating myself and repeating what's alteady been said , which i think is annoying but in my lapses of awareness i do it anyway. A lot more often than i'd like.
so then it's time to silence myself to compensate. We humans are entertaining. :)
what? :)
i am sleepy and incoherent, but did not want to publish without thank you saying to you yes...
uh huh...
i got lost on facebook, feel utterly ridiculous immersing myself in news of the world for days, or hours, or something like that...
hope to be back in my own little delusional paradise when i wake...
and then, more entries :)
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