sleep patterns

ok, so i slept for a few hours and woke... it may have been the phone... or a nasal drip that coughed me awake... great... just when the body (and brain?) needs sleep... guess i should return the call...

ok, so i'm invited... i'm not sure exactly to what, a small gathering at someone's house (not sure if it's a party)... two girls i met last sunday night at the play at hollywood studios... the friend (the one who played guitar at the xmas carol sing-a-long last sunday... when my brain is awake i'll figure out if i named him or what... or even if i should keep using pseudonyms to protect privacy... guess it is the polite default) invited his friend and she invited her friend and she and her invited me and him and maybe others, we shall see... we talked about games, as in board games, so maybe we'll be playing some... i'll find out more when i am awake... is this paragraph making any sense?... it seems to be taking forever to write...

are we amused?... well, for better or worse, mostly cuz i wanna be, i am, mostly, most of the time... probably why i am alone, aye?... something about humans that requires some level of neediness beyond my grasp that bonds them in some sort of subconscious thing, i guess... i sit on the outside looking in... or then again, i am on the inside looking out... either way, i am apart.. but then, everybody is apart, i think, they just pretend not to be better than i do... i was never very good at pretending my feelings...

heavy, huh?... or am i mocking myself?... both, probably... we can figure it out if you'd like, just come on over and wake me, but first, i'd like to get some serious sleep... so if you want to help (and have the right energy pattern), then wrap yourself around me and i will sleep in your cocoon and when i wake, besides thanking you, we'll figure out whatever it is we want to figure out...

reality speaks (what?... can't we go to bed now?... hush, reality wants to represent, respect) i've yet to meet anyone with the right energy pattern, but a few over the decades have come close... there is always hope, or something like that... who am i talking to anyway?... imaginary readers?... potential friends in the physical world?... gonna run?... gonna hide?... gonna come out?... gonna come inside?... gonna let me in?... show me where you've been?... show me who you are?... now near, how far?... whatever, we are who, we are what, we are where we are... never mind the obvious child... wake me when we get to why...

are you sleeping now? :)