gym, take two

ok, the foolish fears and poor-me crap failed once again (and the chamber wasn't loaded, yeah, thereal remains) and another 40 minutes, this time 3.15 miles (3 miles in just under 38 minutes, first 2 miles in under 24 minutes, all working on the total body program which is more severe than the free program i did earlier today... cutting minutes off means i am still holding back, but still have a long way to go and do not want to hurt or kill myself cuz that would defeat the purpose of the gym, aye?)...

this is when i feel most physically alone, when i take the steps to wake the body and there's nobody to talk to about it, nobody to cheer or critique or acknowledge or whatever... if i let the lonelies stop me, though, i am only hurting myself (oh, ya think?... yeah, i deserve the bites, and they have yet to actually begin... just wait to the gym crew wakes up and sees i didn't actually die)...

so who cares?... i mean around here in thereal... in the moment... obvious answer... so why ask?... to prove a point?... cuz there's always hope?... the latter, i hope :)

how many times have i written this next line? (many)... maybe this is the turn around ... la la la... enjoy life more right now :)