home again, but not really

and gonna stay put for the second night in a row since i fell asleep last night for an hour in this chair and then woke and didn't get back to sleep until about 2am and so, still the catch up on sleep thing has not happened and now there is even more to catch up on...

leftover mushroom lasagna and protein bread is dinner... laundry is spinning areound the rather crappy washing machine (i finally figured out that there are two factors contributing to low suds, the water must be part of it, but the lack of decent agitation in the machine itself is part of it... it makes plent of noise, but doesn't move the clothes around much... one more corner cut in this supposed luxury apartment... i guess address matters more than actual quality in orlando, but then, that's nothing new in this superficial transient wanna-be hollywood-cool town...

wow, grumpiness sure is increasing (which is a sign of loneliness cuz when i am not lonely, sleep-deprivation is ridiculous giddiness and fun... somewhere inside though, i am seriously giddy and having much fun, but that's inside and i've looked around the outside tonight, aye?... logic is such an unavoidable trap for the rational mind... still, i wouldn't trade mine for the alternative)...

another day at work where i ignored the PI and focused on the RM, which is not good since the year-end reports and next years databases and spreadsheets are not gonna write or build themselves... but changing a do-as-little-as-possible system doesn't happen overnight and most of what i do is considered overkill to everyone but the people paying the bills, the people keeping the doors open, the government, the auditors, and corporate... local administration is seriously set in their ways and

if you stopped in tonight, don't feel obligated to respond just cuz i seem grumpy or down or in some form of need, cuz i'm not and it's certainly not a mersy loves company moment cuz the rare moments i go there, i'm mostly lying (and mostly dead)... and now i am mostly laughing cuz i see the consistency of my fervent independent streak has not changed (which is good, cuz consistency that changes mght not be so consistent, ahe?)...

ok, so maybe i'll babble myself to sleep now... make your night wonderful, whatever you do, and remember, there's a happy wonder-filled entry around here somewhere, all you have to do is want to find it... focus on the positive and the negative will get jealous enough to change :)