loving this rest

as lonely as life can be, i love the privacy and freedom of living alone... and as futile as it is to think it'll get less lonely if i stay home (which is why i've been as busy with social life as i've been in 2008... the calendar has most, if you wanna see), this self-time feels so good...

but it's more than self-time, it is the attitude i bring to it and the perspective i maintain during it and what i do with the time... the rest is first on the list of things this body needed and this is the first time i am actually giving the body extended rest (letting the body call the shots) in years... and then, there's the positivity, the focus on what is feeling good and can be done, instead of focusing on the pains and bloat and buddha belly and stuff that can bring me down... all that fades into meaninglessness when the perspective is right because the actions diminish the negatives... what feels best is doing what i want to do because i want to do it, not because i think i need to do it...

so since getting off work on wednesday, i've been just sitting around relaxing (occasionally answering the on-call phone for work) and unpacking (moving in is a very slow process for me, mostly cuz i've got boxes full of stuff and no place/furniture to put it in/on) and a bit of laundry/cleaning... part of the freedom is not needing to wear clothing... the nudist in me has been closeted for so many years, i've almost forgotten how much i do not like clothes instinctively, no less the concept, history, and thought processes clothes represent...

ah, such a radical... meanwhile, i may just head out somewhere today for a little while... exercise is calling louder... and maybe a movie tonight... i hope your day is wonderful too :)