woahzzzz

that's woozie enough to get a woah... it's happened one time before when i was pushing myself at mid-day on a sunday after playing two games from 8:40am and then lots of practice after the games pitching and hitting and playing infield and outfield and the heat and dehydration snuck up on me and it was scary and once or twice before in this life it happened cuz that's sometimes what it's like for the body and mind when pushing limits in extreme heat but tonight it was nowhere near pushing limits and no extreme heat, it was mostly drugs... yes, i have been way too sedentary since softball season ended in early december and a month of no exercise does set the body muscles and stamina back faster at this age than it did when i was a young pup (and i remember how a month of sedentary laziness would affect me even as a teen, so i should have expected a surprisingly low heat and cellular and muscle stamina, but the pills dehydrated me so quickly i didn't feel it until i was suddenly very woozy and muscles were aching and it was tough to catch my breath and breathing was rapid and shallow and rest wasn't helping and woah...

and then jackson and i stopped for food, take out cuz i was so woozy, our new favorie italian restaurant, and after eating some eggplant rollitini and spaghetti carbonara and a some spinach & onion calzone i felt a little better but not a lot and still so tired so complex carbs didn't help so i made a ice milk shake, mostly ice, and the wooziness is fading so it was a sugar low which is not good cuz that's a sign of diabetes and i've never had that sign before so i am pointing to the new pills as a factor because they dehydrated me and weakened my muscle recovery and the heart is a muscle so how does a pill thank weakens muscles help the heart?... the new doctor and i will have a conversation next visit, or sooner if this happens again... i took another pill tonight, the fourth, but i hesitated a lot... if i don't believe in the pill and it scares me, does that affect how the pill works?... i think many would say so... still somewhat woozy... but sitting here the muscles are tired but don't ache anymore... i wonder how the strict diet will work once i start it again monday...

i am not giving up softball... or exercise... or returning to running... i play six games a day at tournaments... i can still run a 5k in under 40 minutes (i know, that sucks, but i'm old, ok?)... tonight i couldn't even practice more than an hour without feeling like i was going to collapse... if that's what the pills do, the pills gotta go... i'll give until the next doctor's appointment, a week from tuesday (no hamburgers)... until then i will return to the diet and exercise and see how it feels... and i may be rambling...

narf :}