so i sat here confused

i woke just before 6am on what might be the coldest morning of the year and drove out to find a vampire store, that is, a place that sucks blood, that is, a laboratory so i could give my blood and other bodily fluids for testing so the doctor can justify giving more pills (my faith in modern medicine as ebbing quite low this morning) and after driving around for fifteen minutes or so i google the vampires and find their location is hidden in a dark deserted coporate park with minimal lighting and no parking except in back of the building requiring one to walk down concrete stairs in the dark or only go after the sun is up which means waiting a whole lot longer... so i find the vampires and give them my paperwork and have a seat and read a bit of time magazine, the genius issue which was obviously left there for me in particular and i see ebola is still killing thousands and glen larson died (it was a month old issue) and tom selleck write a hollywood flavored obituary and i was called up to the counter before i got to anything genius worthy and the girl at the counter told me i was not in their system and they could not locate the doctor because the form the doctor's office faxed me had codes and id numbers on it that did not match the practice and the doctor himself did not exist in their system and so they couldn't accept my blood or other bodily fluids and they'd call my doctor and get back to me... give my limited time, which is why i woke so early to see the vampires, and the fact that i fasted almost twenty four hours for this, i was not a happy camper... i sat down rather cold because it was somewhere in the thirties in degrees farhenheit (i know, heat wave for some of you, but i was wearing flip flops without socks and a t-shirt and paper thin nylon sweats as i was searching for the vampires earlier... and the fasting) wrapped myself in my arms and brooded...

but that's not what i am confused about...

jackson went out to walk happiness as i was coming back home and when she came back in she was going to shower but turned and said she was going to give me a hug and as she started to she pulled back like i was on fire and said she wouldn't and i looked up puzzled indicating hurt feelings and she returned to give a one armed hug with a hard squeeze with her hand that hurt my iverly sensitive right shoulder as i pitched a whole lot of hours in the last five days and was a bit tender and i asked what i did wrong and she didn't seem to understand the hug-no-hug-half-hug with kind of angry shoulder squeeze confused me and we had a moment of anxious misunderstanding and she went into the shower and i sat here confused... still brooding a bit too, but more confused...

anyway, i'm not sure what will happen when she gets out of the shower, but i am frustrated with this world again and have a couple of hours to rebound and get to a budget meeting with the cfo, comptroller, and coo that i am not looking forward to...

perhaps i am grumping more than brooding... see, i am even confused about that...

narf lol lam sigh :)