sense or nonsense or what?

somewhere in my head (and in my actions), i still have that dream of being perfect and everyone admiring and respecting the together being i am as represented in my epic writings... and of course i have shrugged that dream off with the cavalier sort of advertisement for an editor i babble on about every now and then... but the fact is, that dream is dependent on external focus, on other people's opinion of me... and when i realize this truth, i write much more freely without any hesitation (or much less) and without extended pauses or breaks that make me kick myself and feel like i have to start all over again... it's a matter of realizing that the writing is for you first, that the writing is exploring you, finding you, and creating you - allowing you to know yourself and therein, learn how to better actualize yourself... that is the best you can do in this life... the most you can do - to be more, whole, real... those who fault you are envious and show their own faults in faulting you... those who do not like you are projecting what they do not like about themselves on you... anyone not loving and supporting and beaming to know you does not matter... those who care and want to know you matter... these are some of the "rules" or again "ways to be" that save me regarding the outside world and others... your focus must be on yourself as much as possible, not on the form or format or appearance or what it should be... continuing to shoot the arrows matters more than hitting a target... i hope that makes some sense to you...

what?...