unsafe

sad suicide living in an unsafe space, but that is life as i've chosen as i remain... when the loss from theft (or is it robbery) is in the many thousands of dollars and insurance will not cover it and the thief may be back at any time, the space feels quite unsafe and how can sleep sleep come when the space feels unsafe?... how can sleep come when there is not more trust?... how can sleep come when all smiles are erased... how can sleep come when respect has been crushed?... peace is a place without threat of invasion... peace is a please where trust is alive... peace is a place that is a safe haven... peace is a place without shuck and jive... peace leaves when unrest arrives... it feels so unsafe here now... i just want to cry...

hey, what's going on (what's the buzz, tell me what's a happening?) hey, what's going down? (what's the buzz, tell me what went wrong?) hey, can you take the knife out of my back (don't twist it any harder) hey, this is such a sad song - it is not where i belong...

but here i am...

and with this entry

if you understand, you might know understand, but do you comprehend? :)

this realtime blog surpases the entry total of the RealTime(tm) blog... it still has a considerable way to go before it comes close to the entry total behind the candoor, but this is still a milestone entry and the most prolific blog in it's first year of the many inline (or online, for that matter) spaces i've created over the years... just in case you time travel and love music too, here is some of what i am listening to in 2013 and i hope you feel it with me (and let me know)... cuz the future is out there, ya know...

maybe i should be twittering :)

which would have been a nice quippy close and was for years, more than six years in fact (or longer than that, even... what? what? what?... what?), but what is time, anyway... and then this came along and i just had to continue once again, because i love you (and me too), here's another shot at all the strange and wonderful links that were in one or more of the previous entries, m'ok?... thank you for caring (yeah) and choosing to spend time with my words (word?)... your words are wery welcome here... encouraged, even... and now (or whatever, even), with even more further ado, some impromptu fortuitous philosophy and nonchalant self-promoting cuz i really want someone to know me (or something like that)... motivation is important in this life, ya know?... what you want it to be it will be if you understand what makes everything move (and i mean everything and that is just where it begins) with intensity sigh) beyond reason sigh) and the purest peace (sigh) that comes from the purest love (sigh) and innocent trust (sigh) i welcome you (who are you, anyway?) to this world (what's with all these sighs?), even though the point of it all could be random...

here, drink this:

which would have been a nice quippy close and was for years, more than six years in fact (or longer than that, even... what? what? what?... what?), but what is time, anyway... and then this came along and i just had to continue once again, because i love you (and me too), here's another shot at all the strange and wonderful links that were in one or more of the previous entries, m'ok?... thank you for caring (yeah) and choosing to spend time with my words (word?)... your words are wery welcome here... encouraged, even... and now (or whatever, even), with even more further ado, some impromptu fortuitous philosophy and nonchalant self-promoting cuz i really want someone to know me (or something like that)... motivation is important in this life, ya know?... what you want it to be it will be if you understand what makes everything move (and i mean everything and that is just where it begins) with intensity sigh) beyond reason sigh) and the purest peace (sigh) that comes from the purest love (sigh) and innocent trust (sigh) i welcome you (who are you, anyway?) to this world (what's with all these sighs?), even though the point of it all could be random...

why the stress

more to the point, why react poorly to the stress... why fear the stress... why let the stress become anxiety... and finally, for the moment, why the fear?...

people are so afraid of so much, it is challenging to relate to them... they create drama and so much more stress in their heads than necessary... so much anxiety over what?... and the fears, so irrational so often... people create anxiety and drama to avoid confronting the fears (and each other)... so afraid of honesty... people create delusions to placate the irrational fears and how does one relate to that?... join the delusion, ignore the delusion, confront the delusion?... none of those work for me... joining is pretense, i only like pretending on stage or in a role playing game... ignoring without joining is dangerous, even suicidal... confronting is dangerous to the point of hostility, or at least to anxiety to the point of hysteria... how does one communicate with someone in a delusional state, someone hiding behind walls of fears that are hidden behind walls of delusions...

it is sad to get close to people... there is so little peace in them... so little truth... and so little honesty comes out... i want to return to my peace again... alone, if that's how is must be...

sigh :)

alas, dangit

just when i was thinking how wonderful it was to feel a yay! at the conclusion of an entry, i find frustration again... caring as much as i do does that... unfortunately, jackson's plans changed and i will vent my frustration about that elsewhere in a private blog out of respect for her privacy, but grrrrrr... i hate hiding as i believe that is the root of all self-destruction (and evil)...

i must say this here for my own peace of mind - i will do my best not let her irresponsibility stop me from taking care of myself as i should anymore... i wish this venting was not necessary but the frustration comes from caring about her and depending on her to be responsible and she doesn't want to deal with her irresponsible choices... and this (writing) is my way to peace and i will take care of me...

i will not do her any good if i am not loving me... we can't love anyone else if we are not loving ourselves... another very important self-reminder... so clear after some good sleep...

i wish everyone would understand how honesty sets us free...

making whine

who wants to play with the old man's body?... who wants to care as the body ages?... who wants to consider me a hottie?... who wants to drink these sorrowful pages?... and then there is the mind, i want to be kind, but i look around to find i am amidst the deaf, dumb, and blind... i don't want the delusions so many choose to think of as reality... i don't want the poisons so many choose to drink to find a fantasy... i don't want the confusion of leaving the rational mind, behind, resigned...

i just want to share peace, love, and happiness in a free and honest mind... open your mind... can you share peace love and happiness in a free and honest mind?... can you open your mind?... share an open mind...

until i do i will continue... making whine...

everybody's got the right to their own delusions

the objection is when one person's delusion makes any attempt to negate another's delusion, or reality for that matter... it's the same for the physical life... everyone's got the right to live any way they please, except when one chooses to try to stop another from living their way... balance is the only way... natural balance can be quite cruel, but intelligent balance brings kindness and fairness and equity into the balance and hopefully human beings are developing into an intelligent species (there are way too many signs that it not happening, but there's always hope {i hope} and that must be the only reason i have for staying personally, individually, globally, and universally)... i suppose another term for delusion, in this context, is blind faith... those who believed the world was flat were wrong, but they were entitled to believe in a flat world unless they tried to stop others from believing different... unfortunately, human history is inundated with examples of intolerance of different beliefs and that is one of the saddest (and clearest) signs that intelligence has not quite become the dominant trait of humanity...

i wonder what other animals belief... or trees, for that matter... trees have been around a lot longer than humans, after all, so they might just know something about longevity we humans don't know... like maybe something like learn to be still, especially when conflict can be avoided by stillness... imagine if two armies poised for war would choose to meditate on peace instead, just pause and reflect on the bullets they are about to fire or bombs they are about to drop or the consequences of the buttons they are about to push... put faces on the buttons and intelligence just might happen... yes, i am a hopeful child... aren't you?...

my delusion is peace, love, and happiness... open minds, open hearts, and honest love... actualized... if i can live it, it just might become real...

and narf :)

the first week of december

hope you have or will read music helps me remember you because i don't want you to miss the words that are meant to remind you that i care about you and i want you to know i love hearing from you even if it's once in a blue moon or less... see, contrary to what most babbling self-indulgent meanderings might seem to suggest, might it's not only about writing to myself here, ya know?... some of you i have not heard from in years, some even longer... please know you are not just always welcome, but i want to know how you are, what you do, and what's happening in your world no matter what is happening... i want you to remember this even though i don't say it all the time :)

some music helps me remember the heart still beating inside of me, the experiences and dreams of love past and hope for more... and this first week of december used to be a time i would devote to my heart, to remembering, to feeling all i can feel from the hope of euphoria to dreams of sharing everything and true love to the losses that will always remain as hope for some form of connection, not returning to the way it was, but at least keeping in touch with the way it is today... love is forever, after all... there is no one i have ever loved who is not very much a part of my heart today and there is always desire to know how past lovers and friends are today... this is the way of honest love... hoping for the best, for happiness and healthiness and a wonderful memory... but however it is, i still care and i still want to know...

so the first week used to be a time of deep emotion... a time of mourning and a time of healing... a time to cry the tears of missing friends and remembering the good times... a time of rejoicing in the ability to remember and the desire to remember well... a time to remember peace of mind and hope for one more smile that says peace of mind is shared... a time for reaching out to say - i love you and hope all is well today...

the first week of december was the annual catharsis... and over the years, especially recent years, working and lack of interest and lack of contact from those who knew me along the way in this life, the old friends who are connective tissue for memory and creativity and growth and life itself... this year, because it was supposed to happen this year (somewhere in writings decades ago i said so), it is happening even without anyone providing connective tissue and yay for the independent child who does it no matter what... the child who goes it alone if that's how it must be (<-- sing along :)


the first week of december i remember the child...

because i always want more

just below the surface of all the babbling brevity (and babble itself) is the essence of the existence known as me in this life, simply, i want more... insatiable is a core aspect of me... and since what i want most in this life (besides peace, love, and happiness) is caring (the feeling of caring is the best for me) and sharing (cuz caring is a verb so sharing caring makes it realer and more better too) then it just shows to go ya that i want more sharing, more caring, more peace love and happiness and never give up, never surrender to anything that can stand in the way (fear, doubt, fatigue, even) so i continue babbling when no one is around cuz this is caring and sharing when no one is around cuz the hope that someone will read all these words is real and the babbling itself keeps the brain alive in spite of constant interruptions by background tv game shows or sports soap operas (listening to professional sports announcers and the over-inflated {in-the-moment reference, get it?} drama kills brain cells these days) or arnold's ass edited out of t2 for tv or any superficial distraction or life event or some such rambling madness still does not change the dominant desire to share more and not afraid of death, sweet november is not everything so share that last breath so we can actually remember everything and where are you now?...

torn?...

stealing two months

when i found out she stole money from my emergency fund, the betrayal stung so much i went numb... that was the day i spent $200+ on melissa ethridge tickets (the concert is in two days and it is a painful reminder) and $200+ on dinner... numb is still the overall state of being two months later, partly because there are no clear signs that anything has changed and partly because there is no processing without me forcing it like pulling teeth and so there is minimal healing... and there is no one to talk to about it... and that aloneness adds to the obstacles to healing... without resolution, there is no peace... and yet i go on as positively as i can on the surface, caring care of business and giving as much as i can... cuz that is my way... no matter how much it hurts...

still, it is not easy without walking away and moving on and i am not doing that... so i ride the roller coaster and hope for peace... and hope for hope... and sigh...

sigh...

pass it along :)

that is my ultimate goal here in this blog life... and in life itself, actually... i have lots of goals, and a half dozen or so rise to the level of overall life goals... falling in love, helping, sharing, saving the world (as in finding a way, words even, to open enough hearts and minds to the benefit of and desire to love each other so we can all overcome the fears and delusions that keep us not just apart, but killing ourselves and each other), and leaving this world a little better for my having been here... yeah, simple goals... but the ultimate goal whether i succeed or fail in these others is to leave you smiling... i think that is the best i can do, so i hope i did, do, and will (there's always hope, aye?)...

and when we are tired
and fear takes a bite
and we are not sure
if we'll make it through another night

if we can just breath
and choose to exhale
give peace a chance
then we will not fail

if we resist the fear and greed and stress and need to rush to control
we can learn to let go and accept the peace in our souls

it's the truth, even if few are ready to even consider the concept...

my wish is you do and pass it along :)

censorship

censorship is the tool of a weak mind used to defend a weak (or irrational) message... censorship is sad... even dangerous... especially religious censorship... too often religious censorship and attacks lead to wars... and then we have brother nathaniel... the scary thing is, the brother knows his audience and he is clear on his mission statement and purpose... and he understands and uses the power of propaganda and censorship... but claims to be officially recognized by the Russian Orthodox Church and claims his mission is to make America a Christian nation once again (obvious that he doesn't know it never was one and apparently does not uphold and defend the constitution cuz free speech and religious freedom is not allowed on in his world)... he appears to spend most of his time and preaching and energy on attacking jews for all sorts of crimes, rather than promoting christianity (unless the most important thing about being christian, or at least The Russian Orthodox Church, is attacking jews... somehow i don't don't think so, but then, i don't know much about the Russian Orthodox Church or their monks)... luckily, he blocked me from posting comments on his page so no more of my time will be spent there (but i felt noting his was worth an entry and even asked youtube if their guidelines include allowing hate-mongering against a specific religion... i mean, he's not just disagreeing, he's preaching stop the evil jews and making some irrational claims... i didn't save the comment he blocked, but it went something like this (actually, i was much kinder) in response to someone who asked for proof of his claims against jews

The Brother wants money, like many media preachers. But parroting Hitler and the KKK and advocating abandoning the US constitution is not the way to be a religious leader. The way to make things better is not by preaching hate or fear or in blaming others. THey way is working together to educate ourselves to live in peace. That was Christ's message. Love your neighbor.

I was responding to another commenter who asked for proof about the claims that the Jews were responsible for so many of the world's problems. Censoring that comment leads me to expand on my comment...

The brother wants money and preaches fear and hate, like many religious fanatics. He is not interested in discussion or truth. If he was truly spiritual and sought to give service to people and his God, he would realize that parroting Hitler and the KKK is not the way to do it. He is playing on the increasing paranoia and discontent in US culture just as Hitler did using the same rhetoric and advocating abandoning the US constitution, at least where Jews are concerned. The way to make things better is not in hate or fear or in blaming others. The answer is in working together to educate ourselves to live in peace. He fails to realize that the true message of Christ and most religions is to love your neighbor, not blame your neighbor for everything.

out and about tonight

but still here with you through the magic of technology... well, not so much magic, but technology... while i am out playing with friends on the party night, these entries are uploading automatically so you can read to your heart's content (and i can enjoy writing them and reading them when i get back... yes, i read my own blog, egocentric, remember?) and maybe even leave a smile (or frown, if that is what the words inspire and then i will want to know why and how i can inspire a smile because my intent is to inspire a smile so maybe you know how sensitive i am and how i will frazzle myself silly if i know i sadden you and do not know how to stop doing that... happiness, love, peace, that is my hope for this moment, this year, and always... even a parenthetic tangent can reach the point of it all)... do not let anything stop you, if just for a moment...

make joy, make peace, make love, freely...

exactly :)

part eight (again?)

broken promises hurt so much, broken trains of thought may help the healing by helping forgetting but forgetting is like aspirin, masking the pain and not preventing the cause from hurting in some other way so resolving the cause and resolving the borken promises (or whatever loss causes the pain) is the way to return to a whole heart and peace and happiness and security and the wonders of unconditional trust and love and hope and that is the only way to make the dream come true and until that happens, the dream is over (and not in a good way) and will not come true but there is always hope (i hope) so never give up and never surrender and keep the promise to walk on through the wind and rain and do everything possible to heal and even if it takes another and the other dies before they help, being true to the glorious quest will allow peace and satisfaction when the end finally comes and so until then we go on believing in miracles and the goodness of the human heart even if there are hearts closed to repair broken promises or worse, simply avoiding the possibility and therein making it seem like the impossible dream...

can you really imagine? or is it just a pretty song?...

narf :)

does the delight come through?

most of the time there is so much delight during and especially after an entry... even the most whiny complaining or frustrated entries... even the worst negative emotions and expressions bring with them the delight of release... the delight of letting go of the negativity and finding some balance... much of the time in this life i am enjoyed a wonderfully balanced peace and happiness and when i am not, i am on the way to peace and happiness, always... and knowing that... and doing that... and experiencing that... and writing it all out... that's simply wonderfully delightful... and sometimes i wonder how much of that delight gets through the words to you...

yeah, i wonder... in thousands of blog entries before this one... in the more than 5,500 blog entries in this blog alone... i wonder how much of the delight really comes through...

aye? :)

did someone order catchup?

so in the next few hours there out to be at least twenty entries poured into boxed and better yet, thirty would be watered on the gardens (hopefully not all down and loose, but don't be getting uptight on us cuz that wouldn't be cool, aye?) and the reasons and rhymes shall not falter the intent of the author which varies from time and space to time and space and momentary desire over a subtrate of permanance that contains the truth that all equality of beings is a mental construct based on desire to balance peace with understanding when in the physical reality equality is as rare as a specific sub-set of identical twins so accept the fact that we all accept our individual delusions even as some appear and seem and even feel like universal truth because enough of the beings around you accept the same delusion and we can all rest in peace if we want to... the beatles effectively said something to that affect and just where that got us... would you like fries with that? (perhaps sweet potato, alas, a1c demands)...

promises, promises...

narf :)

am i hurting anyone by writing here?

i am not so much thinking about strangers but the friends i mention here, especially jackson who gets mentioned here a lot and being that we share life and space and food and money and everything else that can bring stress and irritation and discomfort and frustration at times, i am concerned that my public (not that it's read much) venting might hurt as i know she doesn't want to be any sort of stressor or frustration in this life for me... but living with someone does make for some unpleasant feelings sometimes and i do not want to repress suppress or use any other harmful defense mechanisms so i release my frustrations and discomforts into words and come as close to prayer as i get in this like that it doesn't hurt her... she is so precious to me... sister, friend, family, confident more than anyone else in this life... i treasure her heart and forgive all of her imperfections (as she forgives mine) and hope more than anything in this life that my venting here from time to time does not cause her any stress or pain or hurt... i hope you let me know if it does, for i never want to lose our trust...

and it's not just jackson i do not want to hurt (she's just closest and what's that saying?... yeah, distraction, aside, weak humors, could write a song about it no doubt)... can i trust you to believe my bottom line? (as vulnerable as it gets, it you get that... you can negate me by not believing me now... am i praying you don't?)...

my prime directive (if you get that meaning) is harm no one, do no harm, but even deeper for me, honesty without harm... that may be impossible as honesty requires truth most of the time and truth can feel painful sometimes, but there is no intent to harm and i firmly believe lies are infinitely more harmful than truth... suppression is a passive lie... and so i feel justified in babbling on about everything, even the most personal of life experiences... but still, i hope i am understood... my intention is to resolve and not add to stress... i feel so alone when i come to this wondering...

please share the honesty without harm and may you find the peace it brings... anything else is not as safe, secure, true, or real... anything else is not honest love...

i wish you peace and honest love...

Family is Forever

I wanted it to last forever.
How can it be real if it ends?
Family is meant to stay together
Especially a family of friends

When there is no biological family
Friends are all there is to be family
I was hoping you would be my family
If it ends how can it be family?

Ah, the question I've asked since before I knew I was asking. When I discovered I had no biological family, I realized that to have family, I had to choose to bond with those around me and choose family. I realized I had no definition, no reference other than the biological families I observed and stories about families and they were all so different in so many ways. I needed to define family for myself. I looked for the commonalities and similarities in how families behaved and decided that the ideal family lives and would die for each other. The ultimate sacrifice for another living being is being willing to give your life so that other being may live.

It's in all the books. lol.

I laugh to keep from crying.

Unfortunately, I have yet to find anyone who might die for me and so I accept a compromise of the ideal and base my choices on core values, on purest intentions, on what the person wants most in this life. My family is a person who wants peace and happiness in this life and above all else, to do no harm. My family wants no pain or suffering by my (or our) hands. I've come to compromise that as well, since we eat living things in order to survive so we have a hand in the death of living things. It may contradict my wanting to belief that all life is family, but there is an idealistic dreamer at my core who reaches beyond the understanding of life and death as we know it to find peace with some sort of unexplained balance. Intend no harm, do as little harm as possible. This is how I want to live. This is how I want my family to want to live. This is how I want us to help each other live.

Did I mention I have not found someone who wants to share this?

Still, there's always hope. Jackson is as close as I've come to a heart with purely harmless intentions. She does not always succeed, like me and perhaps everyone else, but she hurts more than anyone I know when others hurt. She does not handle it well and I sometimes fear for her emotional safety (even her physical safety at peak pain-feeling). I am not sure she knows she is an empath or maybe she does not understand how to process the feelings all the time. It is what makes her my choice for family at this time.

Being empathic comes with a fragility that requires great strength and many empaths do not develop such strength, leaving them confused and releasing the emotions in a variety of ways, some that appear incongruous with the caring that brings the ability to feel as an empath feels. The emotion coming in overwhelms the mind and it can lead to erratic, even violent behaviors that appear random (and may well be at times), sometimes aimed inward (ulcers are one result of repressed emotional energies, but the body reacts in a myriad of ways we barely know of).

In some ways, perhaps it is a desperate attempt to find some control of the flood of emotions overwhelming the mind and the people, experiences, and/or events stimulating the emotions. It is challenging for many people to accept some things are beyond our control, or unknown, for tat matter.

Anyway, this blog began maybe a year before I moved in with Jackson, which was part of a life change that inspired a shelving of the previous daily blog (that babbling madness called Behind The Candoor, for those of you who've been around that long. Have I said thank you lately? More than words will ever be able to express, I love you for continuing to check in on me. I am still hoping we will share more, if just a (or another) brief visit so we can look into each others eyes and smile, someday.

As I was saying, this blog has since been shelved, relatively, and a new daily has been flowing since the last major life change, which included Jackson and Curious (her/our cat) moving out, the loss of Happiness (her/or dog, who's ashes, or at least some of them, are carefully placed on a shelf wherever I may live... I still miss him dearly), and an adventure in living like a refugee in various places because, well, you can read about it in the current daily, ironically called in case it matters.

I stopped by here today for a specific purpose, however, and it appears that redefining what family means to me is part of that. The inspiration for this longer-than-usual brief daily retrospective entry is simply to say...

I chose you as family
because your heart is pure
I see and feel you feeling me
for your heart has no door
love is forever when it's real
and that can be challenging
for people lie and cheat and steal
egos all want to be king
but for those of us who's hearts take lead
this world can be cruel to feel
when it overwhelms, please remember me
I am here to help you heal

It's my own way of being family
I don't know how else to do it
whatever you may be going through
I am here to help you through it
I want no one to ever feel pain
and I know you wish the same for me
so you know I will say it again
we are family

On the day you came into the world
This world became a better place
and every year I will remind you
with the smile upon my face
when I think of you and feel your heart
I feel hope for humanity
so as another year of your life starts
Happy Birthday, family
Happy Birthday, my family

Happy Birthday, Jackson
Happy Birthday, E

cuz i really want you to love me

when we wonder why i am here rambling on and on and on and on as if there is no end to the flow of words or thoughts or ideas or feelings or creative madness or opinions or ridiculously seemingly obligatory drama (affected, contrived, or artificial) one of the primary answers, obvious or not, is the title of this entry... seriously and sincerely, i want you to love me... i also want world peace and a world without suffering and if you love me, that's a start cuz if we all loved each other, we be a whole lot closer to peace and harmlessness and no suffering than we are right now (and we might even get there) so how about it?... i'll love you and you'll love me and we'll be one big family... come on, affected fake pruple dinosaurs aside, it's a great idea... the most important idea... and the only idea that matters if we are to survive as a species, actually... cuz if we actually love each other we will figure out solutions to all the crap we create and divisions we force between ourselves... besides, your god, no matter who he, she, or it is, wants you to... don't you love your god and want to please your god?... and if you've got no god you know this is right as well as anyone with a god so get over the fear and love me (and everybody, m'ok?)... narf :)

yeah, that's the ticket... so how about it, aye? :)

saturday afternoon

beautiful day but still hanging around the community walking a lot (and the happiness still begs for more outside, more food, and more attention... he's in needy mode with his mom being gone for the weekend) and still considering a jog, but not motivated yet... maybe after dinner... it's near 80 degrees but the 90% humidity finally went down and it's 49% today... so fresh air and walking and enjoying the peace and quiet (relative peace and quite, the highway sounds just seem to drone on ignored until i notice) and except for the lonelies that come and go (don't tell, i am loving the solitude today) and the musty smells of florida (sometimes i tired of them, maybe it's time for a vacation north), it is a wonderful day...

time to order dinner :)

nurturer, giver, sigher

that's me (among other things)... poor jackson is sick and still has to work her two jobs (though she's either working a lot less or she's spending or saving more cuz, well, let's not start thinking about money again tonight... still waiting for that talk... and shopping... and so many important promises to be kept... out, dang parentheses) thank you... i've been taking care of happiness so she doesn't have to... part of her allowing the bugs in (yes, i believe we let bugs in sometimes) is the fact that poor happiness is dying, as in may not last the year and maybe not even the month and she doesn't want to have to see it and part of it is the email i sent asking for a pow wow (you may find yourself {whenever the days go by} reading it, even, cuz you know it's out there somewhere {like most wildest dreams} and if you've been paying attention you know where and what and much more)... i miss peace pipes... or perhaps it's the drugs i miss as i was never much of a fan of smoking or drinking poisons or the usual most humans do for recreation and sport (and escape, let's not forget escape... distraction too)...

the chair smells of urine... gonna spray it with fabreeze tonight and hope it helps... we did have some pet smell remover i bought but i am not sure where that went... with all the accidents poor happiness has had this year, the carpet is trash... curious may be marking her territory, like the arms of chairs, that she sits on... do i have to start peeing on things too? (oh stop laughing, it really smells bad lol)... and why in the world am i not sleeping, we wonder... really?... we wonder?...

who let the bugs out? (woof?)...

narf :)