hours ago

when i opened this box to start this entry, i was all gung ho about something and ready to dance a literary dance that would have likely have spun off silly into the babbling lands of nod and goober, but i was much younger then...

meanwhile, i ate more eggplant parm tonight and again, at least three times more than i intended to (or needed) just like last night, which means i am bouncing around the 200 mark again which makes reaching back under 190 at least a few days away (ummm, ok, so a bit longer perhaps... must cut back on the calories, for sure) and there must be some way out of here said the joker to the fat man...

what?... oh, yes, but what really matters is... Blue Solitaire arrived... am i still mining for true gold?... or am i just holding on and holding out (can jackson be far behind?... there are still lives in the balance after all... anyway, after more than a decade of searching stores and the internet and the universe (and hoping the search would end with a surprise return of true gold in the mail from the great white north), i shelled out $29 and have an actual original new cd in the old big long cardboard boxes that were all the rage in the nineties cuz the music industry though it would transition people from 12" vynil record sleeves to the small plastic eye-charts that cd cases have become...

yes, i am still connected to myself, even if it is hardly recopgnizable (or mostly invisible) these days... still so sweetly pure and precious inside... is anybody going to come near there again?... and the music plays :)