another late night

as are most... and i want to lay with someone and i want to hold someone and i want someone to hold me like they'll never let me go (and not just cuz i'm leaving on a jet plain, dontcha know)... and i want to lean on someone like i've never found that someone that strong... everybody leans on something or someone... why not me?...

and i want to be appreciated for who i am, for what i have to give, for the specific me-ness of me... but it always seems to be too much... ah, so i lay away in the past and the future every moment in the present as i feel time merging into this moment and as alone as i am, i am part of everything, everyone, even if only a very few far far away actually know and understand...

of course this all might not make any sense and it probably means something very different to everyone else, but to me, there is great joy in this and the answer to why not me is quite simple, but only one knows...

and so it goes :}