but not just now... there is just too much energy flowing... too much emotion growing... too much memory owing... owe-ing?... too many seeds need sowing... too many winds are blowing... how many roads must a man walk down?... too many answers showing... too many rivers flowing... the fool on the hill is still and so am i...
the cds are all stacked up in alphabetical order and entered into the database... only 655, and here i thought there were more... the hundreds stolen in 2001 were not all replaced, but a lot of them were... and some of the cds left in toronto that were not copied or returned were found, though not the personal mixes i made which are not truly replaceable as they were one-time momentary creations for myself and for the one and it's a shame that someone would be so cruel as to steal my chance at sharing them with the one, but i've learned that people do things without realizing just how cruel or selfish they are...
still, it's not easy to accept because i may only have this one life and for someone to deliberately try to prevent me from actualizing my dreams, well, that, to some creative souls, just may be an act worse than murder...
is just a little harder when
it's brought about by friends
thereal is not always easy to live in... but for me, it's better than the alternatives... may you find your place in this world... and may you not let anyone take it away or prevent you from reaching it... cuz if you do, you'll be destined to write long babbling melodramatic blogs in the internet for all of your days... or at least until your trust is restored by the person you gave it to or you simply move on and rebuild your dream without the trust, without the pieces of the puzzle someone chose to take out of your life for their own selfish reasons... and to try to believe you can recreate the magic and purity, to accept the smile with the missing teeth as just as beautiful as it was before the teeth were knocked out...
or something like that...
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