ok then i'll just slip this in here

because i have some venting to do about the body that is because i remember the body that was and while this body is in better shape than most bodies at this point on the aging line, this body has deteriorated to almost dead mostly dead as much as ever, but just in a different way (and perhaps i should make time to read myself and see how far i've come and stop waiting for someone who cares enough to read with me and be my mirror and wall and therapist and/or editor and/or reflection and/or collaborator and most of all, friend)... way down deep (and still in the way more than i'd like) the traumas of toronto still haunt, apparently, and much much more where the true fall and obstacle has been all along, so do the deeper traumas of pepperland, so to speak... but the fact that i just wrote this might mean something so profound, it does not matter if it is never read, as long as i remember and do something...

yeah...