nocturnal

six hours ago i was nodding off, eyes closing, losing consciousness, slipping into suddenly wonderfully blissful sleep... something woke me, a question and short walk to jackson's bathroom and maybe rizzoli & isles and here we are, six hours later and i am sort of wide awake... an hour ago i paused the job search (yeah, picked it up again after i woke) and started watching tv... and now i am watching house... so much to do tomorrow, am i avoiding it (definitely) or is this just the natural nocturnal circadian rhythm of this body (even more definitely)... i really should start the car, it's been ten days and the battery may die...

the hair, did i mention i cut the hair... impulsively, just straight across the back hair line so it looks chopped and now needs expensive remodeling... jackson has a good expensive hair stylist i might find my way too... maybe... spending model on looking good to make more money, it's such a stupid game we play... i really want to give it up... meanwhile, i have so few truly professional business clothes, must do laundry before any interview... cleaned up the dining room area some tonight... hardly ate today, half a ham sandwich, no condiments, no cheese, and a yogurt... reaching for kit kats now... hope it puts me to sleep... where is that calms forte stuff?...

kit kats are better... four snack size yum... pick up monitor and other personal belongings, check on how mucvh vacation time i have and will be paid for, find out what's in the blue folder (go to post office to pick up what was in the blue folder that hr forgot to give me that has a 21 day limited time offer attached, some sort of mini-severance package, no health insurance... find out when health insurance runs out (probably this week)... start taking home physical therapy for the foot and leg much more seriously so healing continues and i move better during interviews...

continue internet job search... continue resumes and cover letters modifications, sending out, hope alive, eat something...

are you still not here? (narf)...