who cares what?

of course, the obvious question starts the moment as the mood is sardonic, casually so... deeply bitingly so as well, but being mostly numb, i wouldn't know my own bite much these days... what i actually meant to mention was, did i mention that i got home and turned on the tv and found fiddler on the roof playing?... yes, as i was writing the comment response to the previous entry you wrote, as i was pondering the artsy dreams and collaborations that never were, i was watching the film that i first saw during the summer i was actually playing perchek in a sleep-away camp production of that show... like jc superstar, i remember almost every word (and once knew every word, nuance, and sigh)...

i should be getting to sleep soon, i have a very long day on my feet in the sun playing softball tomorrow... and with the knee the body will need rest even more... but naturally i am wired and bleary at the same time, simultaneously, even...

this propped up leg really drives home the point that i am alone in this world... no one to call but 911 if i had to go to the emergency room if i woke in the middle of the night passing a kidney stone or worse... no one to call to nurse me if i am sick... no one to call, kinda period... especially not late... this is so not right for the daily touch, but, i am selfish at the moment and at least i know, for the moment, someone is here to actually read the words... not like everywhere else i write...

though i did get some unexpected attention on facebook this week (figures it's a week i have hardly been there)... life is not as bad as it seems from this lonely foot-elevated chair, but it could be... one emergency away from the end, alas...

tomorrow may be painful, but may also be better too and come to think of it, except for the torturous loneliness, today wasn't that bad :)

hope you have a magical weekend :)