of course life is short and then you die, so you should live with all the gusto you can muster (just remember general custer) and take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way... unless, of course, it goes something like this:
Did you assign a will of testament to Sanusi Lamido to receive your ATM Card sum of $10.5 Million dollars on your behalf ? he sent a notification to this Bank that you died in an auto crash few weeks ago and also have assigned him as the sole beneficiary to your unclaimed fund of $10.5 Million Dollars. Get back to us immediately confirming this fact if truly you are still alive but if we did not hear from within 72rhs,we have no option than to release the ATM Card to your next of kin Sanusi Lamido. reply to...
see, cuz that is ridiculous and just wants to provoke your fear of death and greed and stupidity and arrogant desire to always be right among other ego weaknesses so you impulsively respond just to prove you are actually still alive and really deserve that imaginary atm card... or maybe you just want to connect to a long lost relative you never knew you had... in a ridiculous world, the ridiculous seems almost normal... so do what you want to do and if you get rich quick, you can thank me by sharing more than half with me because you want to be considered kind and generous and wonderful and i'd personally buy you a golden spoon on a polished mahogany plaque announcing to the world how absolutely wonderful you are...
so if you want to take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer uniquely designed just for you, send a few hundred dollars to my bank account which i will give you access to next tuesday if you buy me a hamburger today... for a cheeseburger you can get access on monday... a bacon cheeseburger doubles the size of your font (cuz size matters)... yes, or you could send $10 to the po box i will open if you let me know you want to send $10 (or more, i mean, you are generous, right?...
this public service announcement was brought to you by G.R.E.E.D. the Government Receives Everything from Everyone Department (aka, Government Receives Everything from Everyone, Dummy) and your local department of mental health where for just a few hundred dollars you can get a permanent label and free stigma that will follow you around for life (psychotropic drugs optional)...
oh, but it's still not soup...
narf :)
No comments:
Post a Comment