this morning i wrote an email, two even, to old friends who actually read this blog... it was a good time... and even though i slid way out of email mode for a while as i tend to do when life changes and business (as in busy-ness) rises... then again, i slide out of email a lot cuz email reminds me of betrayals from other lives and the intimacy of words cannot be trusted and i don't much like to think about that... i just wrote something like this or something similar to an old friend (usually referred to as Z here) who is one of the silent partners in a blog family blog i started a while back:
ah, the never ending stories that long term email addresses allow are the stuff of romance and mushiness... yes, hello, here we are, and i still care about you so i am taking a few moments out of the few moments i have to myself (this is the first day i have awakened with an hour to myself in more months than i recall and in less than an hour i must feed the dog, walk the dog, feed the cat, take a shower, get dressed for dinner, and drive out to pick up a few friends who invited me to dinner at a fancy buffet today... be there at 2:30, are my instructions... it will be fun, but is also a bit of obligation as i don't see these friends often and while i do want to keep in touch, but i also feel robbed of the few moments i can think about what i want to do... one of the wants is to say hello to you...
somehow, for some reason, the blog family blog appeared at the top of my almost one hundred blogs at google-blogger -blogspot this morning... the blogs are listed in activity order with the last activity at the top, so i excitedly clicked over to our blog family blog and found nothing had changed since the last post P posted last year and while i was disappointed i was also excited cuz it might mean that she did start a post there or maybe Z or J did and then i checked and only P and i are authors there and i am not sure how long invites last so i sent an invite to you and J again (which brought me to find your email addresses and that is what brings me here typing these words) cuz you are still always welcome and i understand you prefer your silences but do not want access to that blog to be unavailable if you find a moment like this where you feel like writing something there cuz these moments can be so fleeting so i hope you at least accept the invite and that way you have access even if you never want to type a word there...
and then i sent that to J with some more words and so this entry is for no apparent reason other than to record the fact that i still really do want to share words even though there are some painful memories involved and also that sent two emails out today... amazing, no doubt...
narf :)
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